In case you are one of the numerous couples out there who are seriously thinking about getting married, culminating into an engagement, congratulations! You are not alone. Like every bride and groom you'll find the wedding planning part a very mind boggling affair, especially at the beginning. It is even hard for those brides whom, in their entire life, have never considered being bridesmaid or have never given a hand to a family member or friend in preparing a wedding.
Before the wedding, the best pre-marriage advice is not to wait a long time and never rush in. There are a lot of multifaceted things to note before tying the knot. The wedding day ideas and mindset should have developed prior to dating since the best marriage advice should help you prepare the platform for the wedding day in advance. Prior to running through pre-marriage tips and facts, it is important to remember even as you put all your energy in wedding planning that the wedding ceremony will only last a day and your marriage is until death do you part or a lifetime. You must invest well in the right one.
Always avoid losing track of the significance of marriage since the media and everything else puts all emphasis and attention on the ceremony and how it's going to turn out.
Friendship and knowing your partner
Before you get married, and especially after engagement or before it, take some time to develop a good rapport and friendship with the man you are getting married to or the girl you have fallen in love with. The individual will be the father or mother of your babies and it is suggested that you wait a couple of months before going down the aisle; some suggest you wait at least four months.
However, six months is a good period of time to wait so that you develop your budding relationship and build it on a strong foundation, meaning that even waiting for 12 months and above is not a bad idea.
While everyone who chooses to get married prefers the union remain solid forever, take some time and base it on a strong foundation and form it well from the start. Of all things, do not just get drunk and drive to Las Vegas to get married only after two months of knowing one another.
Avoid secular wisdom
Secular wisdom has it that young adults contemplating on getting married need to wait until they are in their thirties before they get married. While this is just hot air, you do not have to wait until you have a fat bank account, a picket fence, sports car, house and more to mature for marriage. In fact, all this time you are amassing these material things you could have your marriage partner with you and enjoy every step of the way and have the house upgraded into a palace.
At the same time, marriage helps you to develop and become very mature as you become responsible. In fact, there are women who end up postponing marriage that by the time they want to get married conception becomes impossible. If you sit around waiting for the time secular wisdom says you should get married, you will lose on the fact that life is essentially about relationships and the joys that follow all loving relationship. Put it into your head that you hardly need lots of money, a car or house to love and get married. In case you realize that you love material things and money more than your potential partner, never get married.
Get as much relational insights as possible
It is important to find something deeper that can glue you together before you get married and base your relationship on the right thing. For example, if you are religious you might want to invest your time together putting God first in everything, especially your lives that are soon are to be one. Talk to other religious couples, especially those who have been married for decades and let them give you the stories of their life.
Many young religious-minded people looking forward to getting married ignore this vital fact and regret later. Before divorce became the mainstay of most marriages, parents ensured before their children got married they get as much advice from married family friends, aunts and uncles and many others. A little advice can help clear up many obscurities about marriage before you join the bandwagon.
Yoke yourself with the right partner
In marriage, the worst thing you can do is marry a person who does not share in what you believe in and stand on many things. For example, if you do not drink, the worst thing you can do is get married to a drunkard. If he or she cannot stop drinking before you get married, do not expect a miracle once you are married. It is also important to get married to a person who shares your spiritual faith or at least does not frown on what you believe.
For example, the marriage could be frowned upon by some and lead to a lot of heartache if you have strong religious beliefs yet you married a person who finds organized religion objectionable. This also goes for many things and not just religion. The more the things you agree and share with your partner the happier your marriage will be.
Fidelity is vital
Infidelity can destroy a marriage and it is one of the top reasons for divorce anywhere globally and in some instances cheating in marriage leads to physical confrontations and death, especially if your partner fails to come to terms with it.
If you cannot stop being unfaithful before you get married, you should not believe it will stop once you are married. The last thing you want is for your spouse to post a video of your infidelity caught on video on YouTube. Respect the man or woman you are getting married to and stay pure for him or her and you will reap the same and your union will be a joyful affair.
Even before you get married and way before the wedding day, make a decision to remain together no matter what. This is the main reason why you are taking time to know one another so that your decision to remain married, loyal, honest, true and steadfast to one another will stick. For love to run through, you need to have your partner in mind, learn to forgive, make a few concessions and decide among yourselves that divorce will never be an option in your case. Love is a commitment, an action and definitely a choice and always perseveres. Breakups can demolish families and affect kids so bad that they grow to be problematic adults.
Learn to appreciate
Before you get married find things to appreciate about the woman or man you intend to get married to. Once you have ascertained the things you need to be glad about, flaws and imperfections will be seen less. You must understand that each one of you comes with a set of strengths and flaws. Both of you make mistakes and since you are both imperfect hurting one another comes with the territory. Learn to love one another no matter what and to overlook those things that could drive down a wedge between you. Couples always find things they hate about their partners and before going down the aisle commit to love one another, to build your marriage and to forgive and move on.
Prior to getting married learn to communicate with your potential wife or husband and don't expect them to guess what is in your mind. Learn the best way to communicate and to understand one another. As you learn this, it will come in handy in your union. Never assume your spouse knows what you are talking about and always clarify. Always learn and compel yourselves to speak up and communicate. It will be the best investment you make before you even get married.
Above all, always control your emotions and yourself. Emotions should never control you, otherwise you will harm your marriage and utter foolish things that will haunt you later on in life.