Sometimes in a marriage the best advice is using your commonsense that most couples forget to use in the course of their relationship, which is to treat their companion as they would like to be treated. There are a number of things you can do today to super glue your marriage, in turn reaping a healthy, strong, and long-lasting relationship.
Daily routine of communication
If you have noticed, every couple has a pattern of communication or communicative routine. You must know how yours goes. Perhaps it is rude or kind; no matter how it looks like both of you can upgrade the daily communicative routine in a number of ways. You can start with a "good morning" right before you begin the day, said in a cheerful manner while avoiding confrontational statements after waking up.
Before you have gone to sleep, always tell him or her "Good night". After returning home from work you can start with a simple "hello" as you give your wife or husband a warm kiss or hug while avoiding heading for the Tablet, Smartphone, mail, PC, TV or newspaper.
At the very least, it is important to always thank the one you married daily by doing something such as disposing garbage, tucking children to bed, helping to serve or make dinner and working hard to ensure they have been well provided for. It is crucial to show your mate how thankful you are and that he or she is adding value to you and the entire family.
Always say something related to love daily, especially related to what the individual did that day, such as "I love you baby and thanks for calling today", "I love you because you are always making a great meal", among many other things. Do not forget to text or call to at least find out how the appointment at the doctor’s, an interview or meeting went. The important thing in all this is ensuring you are not acting like roommates but lovemates.
Gift of complement and kind words
If you have been keen, you might have realized how priceless words are in your relationship. In a loving relationship, it is important to assume the responsibility of acting as the number one cheerleader of your mate. If you are not, then someone else might assume that role. You can do this by complimenting your mate kindly or with kind words for all manner of things. 84 percent of married folks believe being complimented for being kind is much better than compliments for their appearance.
Character is very important and probably what brought you together. This is why it must always remain the super glue that sticks you together. It means you have to be proactive and recognize verbally the positive quality of character of your partner, such as compassion, thoughtfulness and generosity.
Stick to offers that cannot be refused
It is always important to offer non-refusable offers to the person you married. This means routinely offering to help with time, kids and chores without feeling guilty. Avoid waiting till your partner has started begging to start running around. Do it beforehand. The truth in all relationships is that, as couples continue living together they become accustomed to one another and naturally what becomes the expectation leads to neglect.
In most cases, our kindness is reserved to colleagues and strangers with emotional scraps reserved for our partners, a person we are always assuming will still be around when we wake up at the same time assuming that the partner knows he or she is loved. Such assumptions and presumptions are very dangerous to your marriage and you must keep on showering your intimate one with offers he or she will come to love and reciprocate.
Good fights when they come up
The truth of the matter is that even the happiest couples do engage in fights now and again. Any married couple claiming that they have never fought is dishonest and lying, or one of the partners in the union is mistreated and has no voice in anything. Research has even found those women who tighten their mouths shut during arguments have been found to be four times more at risk of getting cardiovascular problems in contrast with women who always talk their mind.
While fights in the marriage are unavoidable, it is important that in every one of them a solution is reached to avoid engaging in battles that do not end. Ask questions in a neutral way as you listen to answers given before providing your opinion. Any good fight might result in a solution agreeable between the two of you while bad fights leave bad blood with zero solutions.
As expected, at the beginning of the fight both of you will have a lot of ideas concerning the problem besetting the two of you and these ideas must be discarded if joint solutions will be arrived at. As you work together to find a solution, chances are you will comply on resolutions reached.
You can reward or get rewarded today without much ado. While counseling and working on a marriage is a long process, you can enjoy quick fixes right away. This includes changing the way you approach your partner and a number of other things at once and see the change. You can put your arm gently on your spouse, look at her or his face and eyes and say how you love her or him and how incredible she or he is. Say how you are grateful having him or her in your life and how everything has changed for the better. If you have not said anything like this in the last few days or weeks this is the perfect time to utter those words and see the change in real-time.
Little things that mean much
Chances are you still remember those little things that you used to do together when you got married. It is also possible you were doing some things together when you met but a couple of years into the union you have forgotten about them. You need to remember these things and engage in them as much as you can as you rekindle the feelings and love you had. This can be as simple as dancing around the kitchen, holding one another, looking into the eyes of your spouse as you hold your hands and kiss like newlyweds who cannot stop themselves.
Surprise your spouse with some dinner and a call during the day. Tuck a photo of your wife or husband in your purse or wallet and let him or her know and change it with an updated one every year.