623 Comments

Congratulations on deciding to get married! You are in for… okay, we can't lie. While being married is great and wonderful, the act of getting married can be quite stressful. There is the planning of the ceremony itself, the merging of two households (if you don't already live together) and all of the details involved with that. You also have to take the time to apply for your marriage license and then decide whether or not you are going to keep your name or change it.

This is where a lot of people have trouble. Once upon a time, it was just customary for a Bride to take her Groom's last name as her own and abandon her maiden name completely. The act of keeping her own name was considered taboo and people's eyebrows would raise right off their faces when they found out that the Bride was even considering something so radical. Over time, though, more and more women are deciding to keep their names.

There are a lot of reasons to want to keep your own name. Hopefully you have a supportive Groom who understands why this idea is the most appealing to you. A lot of times, though, the act of keeping your name is still something that causes concern… even if your Groom is fine with it, his family (or your own) might not be so understanding.

There are a couple of ways to compromise on the whole "you wanting to keep your name and your Groom hating the idea" problem. You could choose an entirely new last name for the two of you to share. This way neither of you gets "your" way and you both have to deal with the legalities of going through a name change. Most of the time, though, the most popular compromise is to hyphenate your last name and the last name of your Groom.

For example, if your Groom's name is John Smith and your name is Kate Jones, you would name yourself Kate Jones-Smith or Kate Smith-Jones.

This allows you to keep going by your own last name while legally adopting your husband's surname at the same time.

Why Is Hyphenation a Good Thing?

The compromise is the biggest reason that so many women choose to hyphenate their last names. It is a way of you keeping your own identity while also keeping your future husband happy

It allows you to stay connected to accomplishments that you achieved before you got married. For example, many women who choose to hyphenate do so partially because they have earned higher educational degrees and certifications under their maiden names. They might have also had things published or publicized and want to stay connected to that identity.

It helps you stay obviously connected to your children whose names might not be hyphenated and who have been given your husband's surname.

It can help you bridge the gap between your personal and professional life. Many women who opt to simply keep their own names do so because they don't want to give up all that they have accomplished professionally. Unfortunately this makes it hard for them to claim ownership of these accomplishments personally because they happened under their "other" name.

Nobody wants to think about the negative stuff but, with the divorce statistics being what they are, you might want a contingency plan. Changing your name to his last name and then back to your own if things go south will be a major hassle.

While tradition is one thing, there isn't any logical reason—at least one that isn't rooted in "because that's how it has always been done" to completely change your name. Keeping your name and joining it to your husband's through hyphenation is as legal as simply adopting his name or as simply keeping your own and leaving his out of the picture entirely.

Probably the most important reason to consider hyphenation is your identity. You've spent your whole life building your identity under a certain name. Obviously you will still be you even if you've taken on your husband's last name and omitted yours entirely. At the same time, your name is associated with the identity you've built up and hyphenation allows you to respect that while also respecting tradition and your husband's family's identity at the same time.

Why Might Hyphenation Be a Bad Thing?

Hyphenated names are more difficult for computers to handle. When you type in your personal information, the hyphen often isn't recognized by the computer's code. This means that you have to eliminate the hyphen and that can cause problems later on.

If you care about outside opinions on your name, you should know that a large portion of today's society is annoyed by the hyphenated name. Some people find it "snobby" and others simply find it irritating because they have a hard time remembering which last name they are supposed to say first. Some people even believe that not simply adopting your husband's last name is a huge sign of disrespect and a lack of commitment.

It is possible that your future husband will find this choice offensive. Some men, regardless of how you might feel about such things, are traditionalists and feel that it is simply "right" for the woman to take the man's last name as her own. Whether or not your future husband insisting on your adopting his last name is a red flag to you or not, it is still something that you should take under consideration.

Some people worry that having a hyphenated name—if you do not plan on passing the hyphenation down to your children and are planning on giving them only your husband's surname—can be confusing for a child. Even when the child is given a hyphenated last name, they might be confused when they get older when they start making friends whose names aren't hyphenated.

Interesting Statistics and Hyphenation Stories

Instances of today's generation of women hyphenating their names has gotten significantly smaller since the baby-boomers' generation started making the practice more popular.

The Knot website says that less than 10% of women today hyphenate their names. Some simply choose to have two last names or two middle names when they want to keep their own last names after they get married.

Same-sex couples sometimes have a difficult time trying to hyphenate or change their surnames after they are married. Even when they are married legally, there are some states in which the judges who hear these petitions will deny the peoples' request to have the same last name. In some cases, applicants sometimes fib about the reason they are seeking the name change.

What It All Boils Down To

There are all sorts of reasons to hyphenate your name and not to hyphenate your name. The basis for each of these things, however, is whether or not you are willing to make a compromise when it comes to changing your name (or whether you are willing to compromise on your future spouse adopting your name as their own). The hyphenation is the epitome of a compromise. One spouse wants a complete name change. The other spouse wants no name change. Hyphenating the two names is a way for each person to, at least a little bit, "win" the argument.

Of course this isn't the actual end of the argument. Why would you ever think that anything having to do with getting married would be that easy? Once the decision to hyphenate one person's name is made, you have to decide whether both of you are going to hyphenate your surname.

After all, why should the bride be the only one to go through the name change process? Equal partners and opportunities and all that, right?

Many men, when they acquiesce to a bride's compromise on hyphenating her surname are happy to do the hyphenation as well. There are always going to be a few exceptions to the rule but we're willing to bet that most men will say "okay, if you will, I will too." From here, then, you need to decide which name is going to come first in the hyphenation.

The decisions and compromises just don't ever end, do they?

And don't forget the legal stuff! Making the decision is just part of the process. From there you are going to have to legally change your name all over the place. You'll need to change your name at the bank, with social security, with your credit cards, on your driver's license, at the gym… everywhere. It's easy to get overwhelmed just thinking about it.

The good news here, however, is that there are tools you can use to help you make the process a little bit less scary and intricate.

What matters of course, is that the two of you are going to be happily married—hopefully for the rest of your lives. At the end of the day, whether you each keep your names, whether you come up with an entirely new name for the two of you to share or whether you hyphenate your current surnames, what matters is that you love each other and are going to be joining your lives together. Try to remember that as you are staring at the application for your marriage license and filling out the portion that reads "name after you get married" (or whatever the legalese for that might be).

That's what matters most of all, right?

623 Comments

  1. Maria mulato

    Hi
    I'm getting married in a week and I'm putting my fiances last name first then mine do I have to change my (ss,dmv etc.)or can I leave it as it is and also can I keep sighning with my last name or I have to start sighning with his lasts name

    Reply
    1. Valera

      Hi Maria. You can continue signing with your last name until you officially change it.

      Reply
  2. Regina Cole

    I will be getting good married in a few months. I am divorced and kept my married name due to having it for 26 yrs. I have several licenses, certifications, etc that have my married name on it. If I hyphenate my name, prior married name-new married name, will all my licenses, ss, DL, etc still be valid and legal or do I have to change everything? Trying to avoid having to change everything.

    Reply
    1. Valera

      Hi Regina. They'll still be valid. You'll have to contact your licensing board to determine if records are required to be updated and documents reissued. Some require notification of name or address changes, while others don't. Some may be willing to allow a prior name to stand on your license while making note of your name change internally.

      If you have any licenses that require you to reregister every X number of years, this is something you'll want to be prepared for ahead of time.

      Reply
  3. Domenica

    Hello!

    My last name on my marriage certificate is hyphenated (my last name-his last mame) I never took the time to change my last name with SSA. I have now change my mind and I don't want my last name hyphenated. I want to have his last name only. When I go to SSA to change my last name will they use what is on the marriage certificate? In other words will they forced me to hyphenate my name? Can I just have them switch it to my husband's last name only?

    Reply
  4. Latoya

    Hello,

    I took my husbands last name when I married him. A year and a half into the marriage I changed it to my hyphenated last name (my maiden and his last name). I did change it at the SSA to the hyphenated one. I want to change it now to just my husbands last name again and drop the whole hyphenated thing. Will I have to do a legal name change? Should I just go to SSA and have them change it with my marriage license? I have been married for 9 years. I've looked in to this, and they keep saying if I take these steps, the legal name change will also change my birth certificate to my requested married name. I do not want this, because my birth certificate should only reflect my birth name Any ideas or help?

    Reply
    1. Valera

      I want to change it now to just my husbands last name again and drop the whole hyphenated thing. Will I have to do a legal name change?

      Yes, you'll have to do a court petitioned name change.

      Should I just go to SSA and have them change it with my marriage license?

      No, you'll need a court order, which'll you'll get once your petition is complete.

      I've looked in to this, and they keep saying if I take these steps, the legal name change will also change my birth certificate to my requested married name. I do not want this, because my birth certificate should only reflect my birth name Any ideas or help?

      Birth certificates changes typically have to be initiated by you once you get a court order. You have to get in contact with the recorders office (or wherever your birth certificate is filed), make the request, fill out the forms, and pay their fee.

      Court petitions provide you the document to change your name, but if you choose not to do anything with the court order, then your name won't change.

      Reply
  5. lisa

    Hi I'm getting married in Sept to my boyfriend of 16 years and I wanna hyphens my last name with his last name. I don't have any intentions changing my current documents. He not on my apartment lease with me not dropping my last name can I get in trouble. With his last name only on out marriage certificate. Thanks

    Reply
    1. Valera

      Hi Lisa. It's not a problem. If you choose not to change your name, it won't negatively affect anything.

      Reply
  6. Phyllis Madera Dejarnette

    I was married in 2008, when I applied for my job in 2011 my name is hyphenated by my first, maiden, husbands last name. My question to you is, when I was hired they are using my maiden name for my sinority. Is that legal. Or should they be using my married name? I have no childeren

    Reply
    1. Valera

      Hi Phyllis. Unless there's a state regulation against it, an employer will address you how you prefer. One of an employers' main concerns is that they're using your proper name for tax purposes, and in your case that may not be happening. If so, it would be in their interest (and yours) to use your current, correct name.

      If you wish to be addressed by your legal name—which is the hyphenated version—then you can make them aware of that. I wouldn't be surprised if their addressing you incorrectly is simply due to a software/database misconfiguration that's being thrown off by certain non-alphanumeric characters.

      Reply
  7. Lynn Crosby

    Hello,
    After 28 years of marriage, my husband passed away, and now, 13 years later, I am remarrying. I would like to retain my married surname, not only because I share it with my two children, but also because I am teacher who has been known by my current last name for over twenty years. I thought of hyphenating my new name, but feel it will be a mouthful for my young students to say. Yet I don't want to offend my soon-to-be husband if I keep my current last name instead of changing it to his. While I realize this is a personal decision, I am still looking for some advice on what to do. How exactly would I sign the marriage certificate if I haven't decided by then? Thank you…

    Reply
    1. Valera

      Hi Lynn. Some states (e.g., California) want the "change to" name on your marriage license to match what you intend to change it to. So, if believe you may change your name, it's safest to specify the new name. It's non-binding, meaning if you ultimately choose not to go through with any name change, it won't impact you.

      Reply
  8. Renee

    I have been married and divorced two times. I just changed my last name back to my maiden name last year so I don't want to have to change it again, especially at my work. I want to take his last name but want to keep my maiden name for work. How should I do this? If I were to keep my middle name and my maiden name and add his name do I have the option of signing with either last name?
    First name/middle name/maiden name/ married name. If I have to last names, with no hyphen, can I write either name when signing things?

    Reply
    1. Renee

      I don't want to hyphen the two names because my maiden name is already long so I want the option of signing my married name outside of work while keeping and signing maiden name at work.

      Reply
    2. Valera

      I want to take his last name but want to keep my maiden name for work. How should I do this?

      At a minimum, your employer will use your married name for tax purposes, but how else they'll use it (e.g., email name referencing, bulletin board posts, checks, print-outs) is up to them.

      If they're going to be changing your name within a database, where will that new name be outputted? And if you prefer to keep that information private, you'll have to work out how they can accommodate your preference. That's something you can find out in advance.

      If I were to keep my middle name and my maiden name and add his name do I have the option of signing with either last name? First name/middle name/maiden name/ married name. If I have to last names, with no hyphen, can I write either name when signing things?

      On government documents or any document that has a legal basis, you'd sign your full name. Anything that might run a query against your full name (e.g., medical/car insurance, resume) also use your full name.

      Reply
  9. Rose Siengsubcharti

    Hello, I'm from Southern California but was married in Michigan. On our Marriage Certificate, I'm listed as First Name Married Name. However, I'd like to keep my Maiden Name as my Middle Name (I currently do not have a Middle Name). So my new name would be:

    First Maiden Married

    I thought the change could take place at the Social Security level but was told that to have my Maiden as a Middle changed but was told that this was a whole new process that would involve changing my birth certificate? (I live in LA County) And that I would have to petition the court first.

    If approved, what will be on the birth certificate? It seems redundant to have First Maiden Maiden.
    Then I will have to change this on my marriage certificate too right? So it will First Maiden Married.

    However, if this is all correct, then it is FINALLY at this point that I go to Social Security to have it legally changed to First Maiden Married.

    Is this all correct?

    Reply
    1. Valera

      Hi Rose. If you're going to petition the court, you could go directly to First Maiden Married, and skip the intermediary First Maiden Maiden. In this case, you wouldn't need to mess with or use your marriage certificate—your court order will be sufficient to change your name with all the necessary institutions.

      Reply
  10. S.carter

    Not a question, just a statement. I'm getting married today and as per tradition, fully plan on taking my fiancee's last name. Some people only hyphenate on social media sites like Facebook to keep confusion of friends to a minimum, which I will be doing. ?

    Reply
  11. Amy

    Hello, I live in Texas and got married about 2yrs ago. I would like to keep my maiden name and add my husbands last name without the hyphen. I also have a middle name and would like to keep it also, so it would look like…

    First Middle Maiden Husbands.

    How would I go about changing it? Would I have to legally change it then go to ss or just go directly to ss? Also would I need to use both last names or just one or the other when signing anything not just legal documents?

    Reply
    1. Valera

      Hi Amy. I believe such a name change would require a court order. And, yes, you should sign both names.

      Reply
  12. Douglas Bourke

    What happens when one party with a hyphenated last name marries someone also having a hyphenated last name!!!!!! There may well be three hyphens in the brides married family name!!! How stupid, because in reality the connotation is that the person is a bastard – not knowing what their family name really is!!!!

    Reply
  13. Gary Philpott

    Hi.

    I am Irish and got married to my American wife. I am filling out my Green Card forms. On our marriage cert she changed her name to hyphenated Acevedo-Philpott. Her Drivers license now says Acevedo-Philpott but her SSN and Passport still say Acevedo. When filling out the forms it asks for my Wife's Family name .Would this be Acevedo or Acevedo-Philpott?

    Thanks in advance.
    Gary

    Reply
    1. Valera

      Hi Gary. Generally, it's the name that's on the social, so Acevedo.

      Reply
  14. Isabella

    Hello,

    I am a resident of Arizona, was married there in 2015 and kept my maiden name. I would like to add my husbands name and would like advice which option is the easiest in terms of legal paperwork.

    Option A: I do not have a middle name. So, this option I would my my maiden name my middle name and take my husbands last name.

    Option B: Hyphenate

    Thank you

    Reply
    1. Valera

      Hi Isabella. Option B (hyphenate) shouldn't pose a problem. Option A might give you difficulty due to your not having an existing middle name. You can contact your driver's license office to confirm if a new middle would be honored.

      Reply
  15. Michelle Ware

    I changed my name 10 years ago to my husband last name. Now, I would like to hyphenate it. How hard will this process be?

    Reply
  16. Lindsay

    I live in New Hampshire and got married last month. On the marriage license I changed my name to his last name. Now I've decided to hyphenate instead. Will I need a court order to do so?

    Reply
    1. Valera

      Hi Lindsay. It's likely that you will. Many of the town/city clerks use a universal application which details this in the fine print area of the worksheet.

      Reply
  17. Irene

    Hi Valera,

    Your article as well as the Q&A section has been very informative. This is something I didn't even think about until I read all the comments. I just got married 3 weeks ago. I didn't even want to worry about changing my name until after the honeymoon since all the travel arrangements have been made in my maiden name. So naturally the marriage certificate is also in my maiden name. Now I'm starting to do the research and see the options of changing my name to my husband's. Does this mean I first have to get the name changed to his on the marriage certificate? Since it looks like I'll need copies of the marriage certificate for various forms for the name change? How would this work?

    Thank you!!

    Reply
    1. Valera

      Hi Irene. It depends on the state and whether the new name specified—or not specified—will be a hindrance when attempting to undergo a marriage based name change. Some states want the name on the certificate to match what you'll change it to, otherwise they'll require a court order to process it. Some states don't even have a space on the marriage license to specify a name change. So, it depends. One thing that's for certain is that changing a marriage certificate, after the fact, is unlikely to be accepted by the recorder's office unless there was a mistake made on their part.

      Reply
  18. Teresa

    Hi,Valera. Thanks for the great article. It was very informative but I still have a question. The last name on my birth certificate is P**y and my married last name is H***d.

    The last time I petitioned the court for a name change was after the divorce from my first husband. I petitioned to drop his last name and just keep my birth name. I have lost my ss card so I am not really sure what is has on it. Not even really sure what is on my marriage certificate but I assume it is H***d. We married in Alabama but were born in and reside in Kentucky.

    I have been signing my name like my birth last name is a middle initial (Teresa P. H***d) but now I want my last name to be P**y H***d (Teresa P**y H***d).
    So, can I just sign my name the way I want or do I have to petition the court? It just seems superfluous to ask a court if I can keep and sign a name I was born with. Suggestions?
    Thanks in advance.

    Reply
    1. Valera

      Hi Teresa. You can sign it however you'd prefer, but keep context in mind. If you're applying for a loan, filling out government paperwork, filing taxes, applying for a job (think background check), or anything else that would entail looking up your legal name to confirm that it matches what's on file with the SSA, you'll need to sign your actual, current, legal name. But, for other informal situations, sign it how you'd prefer.

      Reply
  19. brittany lemonda

    Hello. I am having some wet feet changing my name to be hyphenated. I am a clinical psychologist and want to keep my maiden name professionally and want my license, board certification etc. to be in my maiden name. If i change my name legally can I keep my maiden name professionally for everything?

    Reply
    1. Valera

      Hi Brittany. That would be up to the state board. You'll have to consult them to determine if you need to 1) notify them of a name change, 2) have their internal records updated, and 3) require the reissue of documents reflecting your legal name, or if you can continue using your maiden name. Some have standards in place where they need to be notified of a name change, while it still being permissible for you to continue using a maiden or prior name.

      Reply
  20. vane

    Hi I am getting married in the next few days. Am I able to hyphenate his last name after my last name? Example my last name is Rangel, my fiancés last name is Padilla, so could it be Rangel-Padilla? If so, do I still have to update my ID's or is that optional.

    Reply
    1. Valera

      Hi Vane. That shouldn't be a problem. If you're only changing your name on your marriage certificate/license, but not on any actual documents, then your name wouldn't actually change. So, in that instance, it is optional.

      Reply
  21. Iris

    I divorced several, almost 6yrs ago. I never found the need to change my married last name. Until just recently. I am expecting a new baby out of wedlock. Therefore, I felt the need to change my married last name back to my maiden name. Now I don't know whether or not to hyphanate my maiden name and my son's father's last name? #LastName#NewBaby#Complicated?

    Reply
  22. JJ

    Thank you Valera for the very helpful information and answers to the comments. So I just want to confirm that I'm understanding some things:

    If you change your last name (completely or hyphenated) on your marriage license, that gives you the ability to change your other legal documents and without fees?

    However, if you change it on your marriage license and don't follow up and change it with your SS or DL, then you can still go by your maiden name legally and "new" last name socially? How does the marriage license validity or use if the "new" last name isn't adopted?

    Would it be wrong/illegal to complete things like customs forms with the "new" last name if it's only listed on the marriage license?

    I'm from NYC by the way and would really like a 2 word last name (mine his) without the hyphenation, but not sure NY allows that.. I am also on the same boat as others with professional documents that I would prefer not to change. I just get worried about things like having children and their last name being different that mine. I've been very conflicted.

    Thanks so much for your clarifications and help!

    Reply
    1. Valera

      If you change your last name (completely or hyphenated) on your marriage license, that gives you the ability to change your other legal documents and without fees?

      Yes.

      However, if you change it on your marriage license and don't follow up and change it with your SS or DL, then you can still go by your maiden name legally and "new" last name socially?

      Yes.

      How does the marriage license validity or use if the "new" last name isn't adopted?

      Let's make sure we're discussing the same thing. The marriage license is what you'll get prior to marriage. The marriage certificate is what you'll get after you are married. In some states it's the same document; the status is what changes.

      With that said, whether or not you change your name won't affect its validity.

      Would it be wrong/illegal to complete things like customs forms with the "new" last name if it's only listed on the marriage license?

      Yes, use your legal maiden name.

      I'm from NYC by the way and would really like a 2 word last name (mine his) without the hyphenation, but not sure NY allows that

      I don't believe that's allowed in New York.

      Reply
      1. JJ

        Thanks so much for your reply and clarifications!

        Ok so on the marriage license you need to put what you would like to change it to and the marriage certificate is when it's actually changed?

        If I write a new last name on the certificate, will I then be expected to change my other formal documents? Will it be an issue if I don't?

        Thank you for clarifying between the certificate and the license.

        Reply
        1. Valera

          Ok so on the marriage license you need to put what you would like to change it to and the marriage certificate is when it's actually changed?

          Your marriage certificate will mirror what you specify on your marriage license. It's not changeable.

          If I write a new last name on the certificate, will I then be expected to change my other formal documents?

          You certificate wouldn't deviate from what you specify on your license. And, no, you wouldn't be expected or obligated to change any of your documents to reflect the name on your certificate.

          Will it be an issue if I don't?

          No, if you ultimately decide not to change your name, just ignore what you specified on your marriage ceritifcate.

          Thank you for clarifying between the certificate and the license.

          You're welcome.

          Reply
  23. Honey

    I have been using my married name for my drivers license but it's not hyphened which I recently got a car. Now my license is about to expire. But on my ssc is my hyphenated married name. Do I have to call the dealer to hyphenate the info or registration, bank, etc. since everything just in my non hyphenated name but the first name chose I had. I honestly liked it when I just had his last name only & not hyphenated lol. So how can I just keep everything as it is?
    Thanks

    Reply
    1. Valera

      I honestly liked it when I just had his last name only & not hyphenated lol. So how can I just keep everything as it is?

      If you want to shift to hyphenated (even though you stated you prefer the non-hyphenated variant), you'll need to have your SS card updated. They've already changed it, due to marriage, to a hyphenated version. To change it again, they'll need another document showing a new name change. You couldn't use your marriage certificate again. You could fulfill this requirement with a court order document.

      If you want your last name to be married only (not hyphen), then you have to deal with your current name mismatch. When it's time for you to renew your license, the DMV may query the SSA database, which'll return a name mismatch. In those instances, they'll want to go with the name that's on your social security record, with a supporting document (e.g., certified marriage certificate, certified divorce decree, court order) showing your name change event. Without that, they may not change your name.

      When it comes time to deal with third-party organizations (e.g., banks, dealers) you'll need to have your name choice sorted, then bring to them the document showing your name change event, be it a marriage certificate or court order.

      Reply
      1. Honey

        Wow! Thanks so much. I got more detail from you than everyone else. You are awesome. Now I know what I have to do & thanks again.

        Reply
  24. MACB

    I've been married for two months and I want to add my husbands last name legally. However, my husband recently decided he also wants to change his last name to his mom's maiden name due to personal reasons. So, our marriage license is Under John Perez and Arely Basurto and he wants to change his name to John Estrada, and I would change mine to Basurto-Estrada. Is it possible after marriage, and do you think that would be complicated when we have kids ( we want hyphenated Estrada-Basurto) , or should we be consistent and all change our last names to Estrada -Basurto so it's a consistent and the same for the whole the family?

    Reply
    1. Valera

      Hi MACB. It can vary by state. Some require the name on the marriage certificate match what you intend to change it to. If it doesn't, name changes won't go through without going another route, such as getting a court order. Other states may not have this requirement. It's hard to say without knowing where you reside.

      As for confusion for your future kids having a reversed name sequence, I can certainly see where that'll come up. At first glance it can look like a typo. If you go that route, you should prepare to issue corrections from time to time. Still, if that's what you prefer, there's no compelling reason to go against it.

      Reply
  25. senora

    I will be graduating with my bachelor's degree in a couple months time and I used my maiden name and married name in the whole process at university however I want to know if it is possible for the school to remove my maiden name and just use my married name only?

    Reply
  26. Mary Roberts

    This chain is very long & I am having trouble deciphering everything- so I thought I'd just ask.

    I live in TN… I'm due to be married next year. My fiance's last name is Tobias.

    My name right now is Mary Gayle Roberts. I hate the name Mary… and I want to lose it ENTIRELY. Once married- I want to become Gayle Roberts Tobias.

    So… in order to achieve this… I use NO hyphen, right? Gayle will legally become my first name… Roberts- my middle… And Tobias as my last… Is this correct?

    Reply
    1. Valera

      Hi Mary. Changing your first name request a court order. If you go that route you can change your name to whatever you want.

      Reply
  27. Melly

    Hi I was married a year ago. I'm considering changing or hyphonating my last name. I was previously divorced and purchased a home with my ex under my maiden name (it was prior to our marriage). This home was affected by a hurricane and I'm still trying to get rid of the property (maiden name). Also, I've been a teacher for 15 years and I'm not really interested in changing it due to my teaching Liscense and reputation in the school. Would changing to my new married name affect my insurance?

    What do you suggest doing that would be best for these situations. My husband is not a fan of hyphonating and would like for me to change it to his. He's very traditional, but I'm concerned it will just be a headache if it's fully changed to a totally new name without a connection with my maiden name.

    We do not have children yet but hopefully soon.
    Thank you in advance!

    Reply
    1. Valera

      Would changing to my new married name affect my insurance?

      If you're changing your name, it's a good idea to notify your insurance company of it.

      but I'm concerned it will just be a headache if it's fully changed to a totally new name without a connection with my maiden name.

      Whether you choose to hyphenate or just take your husband's last name, will have the same level of simplicty or ease. The name changing process is the same for both. There's no right or wrong in this situation, it's a matter of personal choice.

      If you'd prefer to maintain a connection to your maiden, you may want to consider a middle name to maiden change, or using whichever name combination informally until you ultimately come down to a final decision to change (or not change) it for real.

      Reply
  28. Catalina Medeles

    Hi,

    I recently got married and hyphen my last name to Medeles Guevara. Would I have to write both last names on every form or document that I fill out? Or can I just write first name Medeles with out including Guevara?

    Thanks

    Reply
    1. Valera

      Hi Catalina. On government forms, tax documents, job applications, or anything that might lookup your SSN, write your full name. For other things, you don't have to be as formal.

      Reply
  29. SBR

    Hi,

    Thank you for your article! I made the decision to hyphenate my name as I wanted to keep my maiden name, but also have the same last name as my husband and future children. So in essence I wanted my legal last name to be changed to Maiden-Married. Currently I am struggling to change my name legally. I came across your article when I searched "Husband Two Last Names". I tried to read through as many comments as I could in order to see if someone else had asked my question but I did not find one similar to mine.

    Well here is my predicament: I mailed in my application and marriage certificate to the Social Security Administration. They went ahead and changed my last name to what I requested Maiden-Married. Then I went to the DMV (I live in the state of Florida) to update my drivers license and they refused to change my name to what is currently printed on my Social Security Card.

    You see my husband is not a U.S. Citizen, on his birth certificate, his countries passport, and on his U.S. legal residence documents his name is his first name, paternal last name, followed by his maternal last name (so for this example I will use John Smith Taylor). When we got married four years ago on the marriage certificate they used the name to match his ID therefore, it appears as John Smith Taylor. Because of this the DMV is telling me that I HAVE to take both his paternal and maternal last name. Therefore making my name either Jane Doe-Smith Taylor if I want to hyphenate, or I can opt not to hyphenate, and then be Jane Smith Taylor. I called the DMV office in Tallahassee and they told me to go back to the DMV and show my husbands ID's showing only his paternal last name, but he does not have any ID's showing only his paternal last name. His ID's all match his birth certificate which have both his paternal and maternal last name. This means that if I choose to take my husbands last name am I forced to take BOTH his paternal and maternal last name. This makes NO SENSE.

    I was born in Puerto Rico, which is also a Spanish speaking country. My birth certificate has both my fathers last name and my mothers last name, but living outside of Puerto Rico I have only ever been required to use my paternal last name. My current drivers license is Jane Doe (with only my paternal last name). I really do not know what to do at this point. I am being forced into keeping my maiden name because the alternative is to add my husbands paternal AND maternal last name and I don't want his mothers last name. That's not his family name. When we have kids, the kids will take his paternal last name, not his paternal and maternal last name. With the amount of Latinos living in the United States one would think they would have a precedent and guidelines on how to go about changing married names that did not require picking up both your spouses last names.

    Help Please!

    Reply
    1. Valera

      Hi SBR. It is frustrating, but the state DMV is often stricter than federal institutions. They see your husband's last name as "maternal last paternal last." They won't separate it unless you can provide them satisfactory documentation showing it's not one name. If they're unwilling to budge, as appears to be the case, you can either try another agent/office, or obtain a court order to reflect your preferred name.

      Reply
  30. Amanda

    Hello,

    My fiancé has a hyphenated last name but when we marry, we only want one last name to avoid confusion on paperwork, for our children, etc. Is it possible to just take half of his last name as our last name? We love his mother's last name, which is the first name on the hyphen, and would love to just take that.

    Any help is greatly appreciated!! Thank you!!!!

    Reply
    1. Valera

      Hi Amanda. For most states, it's unlikely. It's difficult to say without knowing which state the name changes will take place.

      Reply
  31. Jerrie

    hello!

    having second thoughts about dropping my maiden name totally. I don't know why really…
    anyway, i went to the SSN office in NY about 2wks ago and dropped my maiden name. I received it in mail and have second thoughts. I was on to the second step (DMV) then for whatever reason, I think I want to hypenate.
    can i go back to the SS office and change to hyphenate?

    i don't particularly like my husbands last name, but i do want us to have the same name when we have a child.

    Reply
    1. Valera

      Hi Jerrie. You wouldn't be able to go back to the SS and change your name again without another document showing a new name change event. You wouldn't be able to use your marriage certificate as it's a one time only deal. You can either get a court petitioned name change, or look into remarriage through a civil ceremony to have an updated marriage certificate issued.

      Reply
  32. Nikki Nunya

    My social security card has my married the last name it's been 4 years since I got married and I need to go in and change my driver's license. Will they let me hyphenate my maiden and last name on it or do I have to stick with just my married name.

    Reply
    1. Valera

      Will they let me hyphenate my maiden and last name on it or do I have to stick with just my married name.

      No, they will not let you hyphenate now. You'll have to stick with your married name.

      Reply
  33. Katherine Bergeron

    I live in Virginia. I have been married for several years now, but did not change my last name at the time. Now we have a child so I want our family to be a "unit" and want to add my spouses last name to mine. My dilemma is my last name is Brown. (i like it) Spouses is Bergeron. My middle name is after my mom who is deceased. I prefer to keep all 4 of my names Katherine Jean Brown Bergeron.

    Should I hyphenate the Brown-Bergeron or just go ahead and drop Brown (Katherine Jean Bergeron) or I can request to drop Jean, so that would be Katherine Brown Bergeron? Love to hear input on this one. Thoughts?

    Reply
    1. Valera

      Should I hyphenate the Brown-Bergeron or just go ahead and drop Brown (Katherine Jean Bergeron)

      Either of these would be recognized and allowed as part of a marriage-related name change. Neither is superior over the other. Simply choose whichever you'd prefer.

      or I can request to drop Jean, so that would be Katherine Brown Bergeron?

      If you're looking to drop your middle name so that you'll no longer have a middle name, well that option may not even be recognized. If you're looking to swap your middle name with your maiden, well then that's recognized. It'll look the same written out, but your legal surname would just be Bergeron.

      Reply
  34. Gerardo Rayo-Ramirez

    I recently went to get my NY Marriage license and the clerk said since my last name is hyphenated that my husband would have to take my whole name as is IF i took his. For example my name is Rayo-Ramirez and his is Ricondo. We wanted to change it to Ricondo-Ramirez but we weren't allowed to let me drop my first name since its hyphenated. Is that allowed? We really wanted to change it to our new name, but i guess we might have to go through a court order for that. They mentioned that I need to go get my name changeds first to just Ramirez and then I can take his name as well and hyphenate it. We were very upset to find this out at the time of getting out license :(

    Reply
    1. Valera

      For example my name is Rayo-Ramirez and his is Ricondo. We wanted to change it to Ricondo-Ramirez but we weren't allowed to let me drop my first name since its hyphenated. Is that allowed?

      No, that wouldn't be allowed. The NY name change article delves into this a bit further. Although NY recognizes segment name changes, that's only if one is opting for a single surname (e.g., no hyphen).

      We really wanted to change it to our new name, but i guess we might have to go through a court order for that.

      You're correct. That's the path you would have to take.

      Reply
      1. Gerardo Rayo-Ramirez

        Would be just have a court order to change to the name we want and show that to employer and SSN. Would we have to get re-married or not?

        Reply
  35. Adel

    Hello, I recently got married and am a physician. I would like to keep my full name "first middle last" and add his name on as a 4th name. My question is deciding whether I have two middle names or two last names. My preference would be two middle names so that there is less confusion surround what my last name is, but I would still like to go by Dr. Maiden name. And for the most part I would go by first name maiden name (aka 2nd middle name) last. As an example say my name now is Mary Louise Smith — I would like to officially become Mary Louise Smith Johns — with smith technically as a 2nd middle name– but at work go by Mary Louise Smith and Dr. Smith but in most day to day go by Dr Mary Smith Johns or just Mary Johns. Could I do that if my maiden name is technically in the middle name box and not last name box? The board licensing says as long as your boarded name is still part of your name it is fine, but I am wondering about how much of a problem that will pose and if that realistically seems doable. Otherwise I will have to settle on the confusing two last names or else the hyphen… thank you so much!!

    Reply
  36. Catherine

    I'm a physician and now, I'm getting married. I prefer to go with hyphenated name of my last name and husband's last name. So I will now become Catherine Milford-Bayer. However, I'm reading hyphenated names will be a problem in computer systems especially when you do reservations and travelling. Is it really true or mostly it is a myth?

    Reply
    1. Valera

      Hi Catherine. It's possible some less sophisticated computer systems may strip/replace non-alphanumeric characters with spaces, it's unlikely to pose any real-world issues.

      Reply
  37. Rachel

    I will be getting married in September and do not want to legally change my name on any of my documents, passport, SSN, DL, etc. From what I've read here so far, I can hyphenate my last name with my husbands last name on the marriage license and do not need to change any other documents or actually change my name legally, but what able when we file joint tax returns? Do I need to use the hyphenated last name filing taxes, since that will be on the marriage certificate or would I use my birth name since I never went about changing it legally?

    Thanks for your help. Just hoping I can get away with putting the hyphenated last name on the marriage license and marriage certificate only to appease the future husbands fragile male ego. Love and Compromise

    Reply
    1. Valera

      Do I need to use the hyphenated last name filing taxes, since that will be on the marriage certificate or would I use my birth name since I never went about changing it legally?

      You'd use your maiden/birth name for that, and everything else.

      Reply
  38. Tiffany W

    my fiance has a felony and he is rebuilding his credit….. my question is i want to hyphenate my name but i want to use my last name for business purposes like getting a apartment or buying a car can that be done….. i want to carry his last name but with that felony i dont want that to hinder me from getting things i want

    Reply
    1. Valera

      Hi Tiffany. When getting an apartment or buying a car, you'll have to use your legal name. So if you hyphenate, it'll have to be your hyphenated name. It shouldn't really impact you, unless you're cosigning.

      Reply
  39. Jenni

    Hello! I've been married for almost 8 years. I hyphened my last name and now wishing I didn't. I want to surprise my husband on our anniversary. Assuming the only way is to petition the court ( which is pricy in CA ..ugh ) but I'm going on vacation in a few months.. my question is does that mean I need to change my drivers license, social, passport before I go?

    Reply
  40. Laura

    If in my marriage licence I put my name hyphenated and now i want to drop my last name and just adopt my soon to be husband last name what would be the process to have that changed ?

    Reply
    1. Valera

      Hi Laura. If you're not yet married, you can have the license reissued. If you have been married, it's possible your certificate is usable as-is, but you'll have to contact your local driver's license and SSA office to confirm.

      Reply
  41. Sam

    I am an American getting married to a Brazilian girl and we are going to have a baby daughter. My wife to be has carried on a long family tradition of keeping her mothers family name as her middle name of Tripoli. Not a problem for our married name because her name will be will stay the same just dropping her last name and taking on my last name. The problem is naming our daughter; we both want to name our Daughter First name: Izabella Middle name: Madelyn but not sure if we should add Tripoli to her second name or add Tripoli to her last name as a hyphen to my last name? I guess I am mainly worried about what would happen when she get's older and get's married. I feel I would be causing her problems in her new married name.

    Reply
    1. Valera

      Hi Sam. I doubt she'll face any real problems as hyphenation is commonly recognized.

      Reply
  42. Joanna Rodriguez

    Hi, my fiancé and are are getting married in october and his name is hyphenated. Neither one of us want a hyphenated name. My question is can we both change our legal names when we go to get the marriage license or do we need to go trough formalities?

    Reply
    1. Valera

      Hi Joanna. It depends on what you're looking to change it to. Some states, such as California, allow a new last name that's based on a segment of either spouse's name (birth or current). But that's particular to that state. If you're looking to have an entirely new last name that's not based on any precedent, then you're looking at getting a court petitioned name change.

      Reply
  43. Melody Beery

    I live in Kansas, can I add my husband's last name for another middle name without changing DL, SMS or at work? Example my first, my middle, his last, my last??? Help please

    Reply
    1. Valera

      Hi Melody. You'd have to get order to affect a legal change of your middle name. If you're talking about adopting it informally, then that's another matter.

      Reply
  44. María Leyva-Alvarez

    Hi I'm curious on wether it was wrong or right on how my last name was written on my marriage license is it supposed to be my last name first – then his or the other way around. I have his last name with a hyphen then mine?

    Reply
    1. Valera

      Hi Maria. Marriage records vary greatly from state to state; there's no universal design. Unless there something on your certificate that specifies the field types (e.g., first name, last name) then it seems you're describing an actual error on your license. I say license, but is that really the document we're discussing? Is the mistake on your marriage license, or your marriage certificate/record?

      Regardless of what the document is, you can contact the issuing office and try to get the mistake corrected, document amended, then reissued.

      Reply
  45. Sara

    So I just got married and my husband has a hyphenated last name as per the Spanish way with both his parent's last names father's name – mother's name (A-B) and I have a single word last name (C) and we were wondering how I should change my name. I want to take his last name, however would prefer to keep it simple. He uses his first last name "A" when he introduces himself and only uses the double last name "A-B" for legal documents. Since we are American, I was thinking my maiden name would move to my middle name and I would take his first last name, so I would be Sara C. A but wanted a second opinion. Also, what would our children's last name be?

    Reply
    1. Valera

      Hi Sara. What's allowed varies by state. You may or may not be able to take his last name partially. For your middle name swap, consult the middle to maiden page to see if that's allowed in your state. Specifically the last two paragraphs. As for your children, you can name them whatever you'd like. They don't have to match your last name. You can apply any hyphenated variation.

      Reply
  46. Porsche

    I got married some years ago and changed my last name on my marriage certificate but not on nothing else. I want to now change my name to include my maiden name on the marriage certificate before I change my name on my ssc and drivers license. How can I do that?

    Reply
    1. Valera

      Hi Porsche. It's not possible to amend your marriage certificate like that. Only corrections, like fixing typos, would be accepted.

      Reply
  47. Victoria

    Hi! I got married last May in Washington State, and I am still debating whether or not to change my name. I am thinking about adding my husbands name to my maiden name, but would prefer to do so without an hyphen. Is is possible to do this is Washington? Thank you.

    Reply
  48. Barb

    When I got divorced I never took back my maiden name. I am remarrying and would like to use my maiden name and my new husbands name (hyphenated). Does this pose any problems.

    Reply
    1. Valera

      Hi Barb. In many states, this shouldn't pose a problem. It's difficult to say without knowing the state though.

      Reply
  49. Ann S.

    How do I casually list someone without the Mr. & Mrs.?
    John & Mary Wilson-Jones?
    If so doesn't it seem like his last name is also hyphenated?
    Or:
    John & Mary (Wilson-Jones) Jones?

    Reply
    1. Valera

      John & Mary Wilson-Jones

      …seems perfectly valid. How about The Wilson-Jones' or The Wilson-Jones Family?

      Reply
  50. Kimberly

    When I marry I'd like to keep my maiden name and add his to mine without hyphenation. If our last names are Abbott (mine) and Costello (his) and my last name becomes Abbott Costello. Then can I go by Costello? Or does it have to be Abbott Costello? And does it matter which way the names go? Abbott Costello or Costello Abbott?

    Reply
    1. Valera

      Hi Kimberley. This type of double-barreled name isnt't well supported. There's often inconsistency between the SSA and DMV about what's acceptable. While hyphenation is universally recognized, spaced names are not.

      Reply
  51. Sue

    My fiancé and I are planning on both doing hyphens. Currently we are of the mind that our original lastnames would be first and then the others. For example, he would be Joe Shmoe-Doe and I would be Jane Doe-Shmoe. Do you think this would be problematic? We still have to decide which last name our future children will be taking. Also, I didn't know someone could have two last names! Might this be a better option for us than the hyphen?
    Would really love some insight!

    Reply
    1. Valera

      Do you think this would be problematic?

      Only a few states allow the man to change his name to his wife's without having to go to court.

      We still have to decide which last name our future children will be taking.

      The mother decides.

      Also, I didn't know someone could have two last names!

      All states recognize hyphens. Few states recognize spaces. It depends.

      Might this be a better option for us than the hyphen?

      Neither is really better or worse, just different. If you go with a space, the first part of the last name may be confused with the middle.

      Reply
      1. Sue

        Thanks for the info!

        We live in Canada, so we'll have to see what the laws are for our province.

        Reply
  52. Denise Miller

    When I married 33 years ago I took my husband's name but in the last two years there is a person with my exact name and exact birth date in our area. It is becoming more common for Dr's and the hospital to mix us up and information is constantly being filed under her name not mine. Because of this I would like to add my maiden name and hyphenate it with my married name. What do I have to do? Where do I begin the change?
    We have already even had a car accident of hers filed under me. I'm afraid if I don't make a change something more serious could happen.

    Reply
  53. Mrs. Cali

    We live in California and are a same sex couple that will be getting married in August. My fiancee has decided to take on my last name. However, I happen to have a hyphenated last name, May-Smith. My fiancee loves my first last name "May", but is not too crazy about "Smith". Is it possible for her to only take my first last name "May"? or does she have to adopt my entire hyphenated last name?

    Reply
    1. Valera

      Hi Mrs. Cali. Yes, California offers segmented name changes allowing you or your spouse to choose a portion of the birth name or current last name. More info is available on the California name change page. Specifically the blended names subsection.

      Reply
  54. Jamie

    Is it weird to change my name to
    "First Rodriguez Chang?"
    Chang is my maiden and Rodriguez is his.

    Reply
  55. Kim

    I married 5 years ago and my marriage license has my husband's last name because that's what he wanted. I never changed my last name on any documents because I have professional licenses prior to marriage. Can I go back now and hyphenated my name and still use my maiden name on all documents.

    Reply
    1. Valera

      Hi Kim. It depends on the state. Some require what's specified on the license and subsequent certificate of marriage to match what you change to.

      Reply
  56. Emari

    I recently got married 4 months ago and have not changed my last name to my husbands yet. I have two middle names and want to hyphen my last name. Will the hyphen erase my two middle names?

    Reply
    1. Valera

      Will the hyphen erase my two middle names?

      No, it wouldn't.

      Reply
  57. Kayla Olson

    I live in Montana and I got married on the 5th of this month, to a fellow service member. I have built a reputation under my maiden name within the military and even though when we got married I signed my name first, middle, husband's last name, can I now hyphenate it? Or just add my husband's last name to my name without a hyphen? And do I need to go to court to file for a name change to do it? My son and I had the same last name and I fought so hard for him to have it and now he is feeling like I left the team. I told him I would look into changing it, but I still want my husband's last name as well. If I hyphenate it, I could wear either one on my uniform, since Matanane Olson won't fit on one name tape. Some people were happy I changed it because Olson is easier to say than Matanane. But I am concerned for my son's feelings and also there is a lot of family pride with my maiden name not to mention my professional reputation attached to it that I would like to hang onto somehow. I just don't know what my options are….

    Reply
    1. Valera

      Hi Kayla. I don't believe the space option is possible without a court order. Hyphenation is possible without a court order. Have you considered replacing your middle name with your maiden name?

      Reply
  58. Sally

    We are having trouble working out what way sounds better Pearce-Benning or Benning-Pearce!!! Help!!!

    Reply
    1. Valera

      Hi Sally. There's no right or wrong, although Pearce-Benning does seem to roll off the tongue easier.

      Reply
  59. Beth Cyr

    I got married recently in GA (and live in GA). I want to hyphenate my last name to Cyr-Kroh. I did so with the SSA with no problem. I went to get my drivers license changed and they wouldn't hyphenate it so now my license says Cyr Kroh. At the dmv they said the marriage certificate had to have it exactly how it would go on my license. I was concerned about this and had previously gone to the probate court and asked them if I needed to get a marriage certificate with the new hyphenated last name and they said no. it was fine how it was. So now I'm really confused. Most other name change things use your license for verification… does the hyphen matter? Can I just hyphenate it anyway even if it isn't that way on my license? Should I go back to the SSA and redo it so it doesn't have a hyphen? To add to the mix – I'm planning on moving to another state in a few months and am concerned about what might happen when I get a new license.

    Reply
    1. Valera

      I was concerned about this and had previously gone to the probate court and asked them if I needed to get a marriage certificate with the new hyphenated last name and they said no. it was fine how it was.

      But it's not fine from the DDS' perspective. Have you inquired about getting your certificate amended, as unlikely as that may be?

      Can I just hyphenate it anyway even if it isn't that way on my license?

      It depends on the institution. Some may accept it, some may not.

      Should I go back to the SSA and redo it so it doesn't have a hyphen?

      It's doubtful they'll process another name change using your same marriage certificate.

      To add to the mix – I'm planning on moving to another state in a few months and am concerned about what might happen when I get a new license.

      A new license from Georgia or the other state? The other state will be governed by their state's regulations and not Georgia's.

      Reply
  60. Tiffany F

    Hi, I am currently filling out my marriage license and have a few questions. 1) when I hyphenate my name can I keep my maiden name as is on my SS card and all other documents that require my SS number? 2) If I change my name on my SS card as my hyphen name do I have to change it at the DMV, taxes and etc…? 3) If I get married now, but wait a few years to change my name on my SS card as my hyphenate name, because I want to have a child and my family all have the same name can I do so? 4) When you get a marriage certificate does the husband and wife each get there own or do they only issue one?

    Reply
    1. Valera

      1) when I hyphenate my name can I keep my maiden name as is on my SS card and all other documents that require my SS number?

      Yes.

      2) If I change my name on my SS card as my hyphen name do I have to change it at the DMV, taxes and etc…?

      Some states have laws that say you must notify the DMV of a name change within X time frame, but they're typically toothless. You'll eventually have to update your name with the DMV when it comes time to renew. So, it's a now or later proposition.

      When you change your name with the SSA, the IRS is notified. Feel free to read more about IRS and name change.

      3) If I get married now, but wait a few years to change my name on my SS card as my hyphenate name, because I want to have a child and my family all have the same name can I do so?

      Yes, you can wait.

      4) When you get a marriage certificate does the husband and wife each get there own or do they only issue one?

      One, although you can order multiple copies.

      Reply
  61. Jane

    When I was married 39 years ago in Mississippi, I dropped my first name given at birth so that my name became *middle,maiden,married*. This was done without any special hearing or court proceeding.. It was done simply by request when we applied for our license and is reflected on all legal and professional documents in this way. My husband has since died and I am remarrying in California in a just few months. We live in Alabama. I intended to keep all of my names with the exception of the first birth name that I dropped previously (I.e middle, maiden, 1st married, new married), but in reading the string, I am now concerned that the dropping of my first name might not have been legal. Could you please explain this further?
    If I find that it is legal, and I go forward with all four names, what are the designations of them? Which is considered first, middle and last? Am I asking for trouble while my reasons are just sentimental. I am not under pressure in my decisions. Thank you in advance!

    Reply
    1. Valera

      I intended to keep all of my names with the exception of the first birth name that I dropped previously (I.e middle, maiden, 1st married, new married)

      Dropping your first name requires a court order.

      I am now concerned that the dropping of my first name might not have been legal. Could you please explain this further?

      Name change laws 39 years ago were not as well defined as they are today. If you were able to change it with all valid government agencies back then, then that's your legal name. You wouldn't be able to effect such a change so easily today though.

      Reply
  62. Desirae Bender-Jones

    I was married in 2008 and kept my name as I was involved in high profile law suit at time. We planned on me taking husband's name after trial. Now what is the simplest way for me to just hyphenate name and use both names.

    Reply
    1. Desirae Bender Jones

      Valera, I might add that we were married in Oklahoma and I sign most all documents and checks Bender Jones even though our marriage certificate says
      Desirae Bender can I just use certificate to showing we are married and I have chosen to use Bender Jones as my last name.

      Reply
      1. Valera

        Hi Desirae. You could hyphenate, but using a space may not be possible without a court order.

        Reply
    2. Valera

      Hi Desirae. Use a certified copy of your marriage certificate to complete a name change.

      Reply
  63. Erica

    I am getting married but have a child from a previous relationship ( not married). I want to drop my maiden name (let's say "Doe") and take my husbands (Smith) and my childs last name (james) instead. So the finial product would be Jane James-Smith. Is that possible to do without going through 2 seperate name changes?

    Reply
    1. Valera

      Hi Erica. No, since "James" was not a previously held surname, you would have to get a court order to hyphenate.

      Reply
  64. Brenda

    I am in Michigan
    I want to keep my maiden name and take my new husbands. What is the difference using and hypen and not using one and Madien first or last?
    (First, Middle, Maiden New) or (First, Middle, Maiden-New) Or (First, Middle, New-Maiden)

    Thank You

    Reply
    1. Valera

      Hi Brenda. Although sequence doesn't matter, you may face resistance from the SOS office about using a space instead of a hyphen.

      Reply
      1. Brenda

        Thank you
        What is the order of alphabetizing?

        Maiden-New
        New-Maiden

        Reply
  65. Heritage O. Miller

    Hi,

    I am Heritage O. Miller. I and my fiancee have agreed she would adopt my first and last as her new last name(which would be hyphenated anyway)…so she will now be called Mrs. Bethle' Praise Heritage-Miller……while our children will also use the last; Heritage-Miller together with their given first and second names. Will these potend future problems to her or the children in their travelling documents or passport?

    Regards.

    Reply
    1. Valera

      Will these potend future problems to her or the children in their travelling documents or passport?

      No, I don't see why it would cause a problem.

      Reply
      1. Heritage O. Miller

        Thanks alot for your insight and counsel. Regards

        Reply
  66. Barb

    Hello,

    I'm a California resident and just got married last month. This is my second marriage and I kept my married name from my previous marriage for the sake of the kids. My kids are adults now, but my son was very sensitive about me changing my last name, and then my now husband was sensitive about me not taking on his last name (a bit old fashioned). So I thought I'd compromise and hyphenate my last name (and by the way, I don't have a middle name either), but now I'm on the fence about hyphenating my last name as I understand it could be a bit of a pain. The marriage license does have my last name hyphenated (i.e., Smith-Koors) and I know I need to go to SS, DMV, change the passport, etc. and make all the legal name changes at some point.

    My question is if on the marriage license my last name is hyphenated, do I need to continue hyphenating my name on everything else (SS, DMV, passport, legal docs, etc.)? Or can I not hyphenate it where I can keep my personal bank account and credit cards as is (i.e., B. Smith) and then use my married name as needed (i.e, B. Koors or full name B. Smith Koors when needed )? I'm trying to figure out if I need to hyphenate my last name or not, and if not, how I can use it.

    Thanks!

    Barb

    Reply
    1. Valera

      My question is if on the marriage license my last name is hyphenated, do I need to continue hyphenating my name on everything else (SS, DMV, passport, legal docs, etc.)?

      Name change on the license is non-binding. You don't have to change your name on any document if you don't want to.

      Or can I not hyphenate it where I can keep my personal bank account and credit cards as is (i.e., B. Smith) and then use my married name as needed (i.e, B. Koors or full name B. Smith Koors when needed )?

      If you don't hyphenate, you'd have to use your prior last name in all formal situtations.

      I'm trying to figure out if I need to hyphenate my last name or not, and if not, how I can use it.

      If you don't a legal name name change, then you could only use your hyphenated name informally. When you do your taxes, fill out a government form, etc, you'll have to use your legal, non-hyphenated name.

      Reply
  67. Kayla

    So, while this was a good read, I do have a question of sorts. My last name is my mothers maiden name. Even though she married my father after I was born, my last name was never changed. When they divorced, my father was awarded custody of me, and all through my school years I went as an Ericksen. Until I found out that my last name, legally, was Maloney when I was 18. I absolutely hate my mothers last name. She had no part of my growing up, and it's a memory I'd rather forget. I'm due to get married in December of 2019. I want to hyphenate my name, because I want to incorporate my fathers name, my heritage of Ericksen into my family. Can this be done? Or do I need to legally change my name to Ericksen before I can consider using it to hyphenate with. Everything from my school years (Diplomas', awards, etc) are in Ericksen but that was before I was an adult.

    Reply
  68. Mary

    I'm a New York resident. On my marriage license I said that I would take my future husband's name. I don't want to change my ss card, drivers license, passport bank accounts or work info. Can I just continue to use my maiden name? Is this legal?

    Reply
    1. Valera

      Can I just continue to use my maiden name? Is this legal?

      Yes, to both questions.

      Reply
  69. Allyson

    I recently got married in California. I still haven't decided if I want to change my name and if so, what to change it to, so am frustrated that I had to make a choice on the license up front. Anyway, I would really like to keep my middle name and liked the way it sounded to have my married name first, so put First Middle Married Maiden on the marriage license. Now I am reconsidering to do the standard way of First Middle Maiden Married, but am dreading the court name change process. So, I guess the question is, is this at all common or mostly women go the standard way of Maiden first?

    Thanks in advance for your help.

    Reply
    1. Valera

      Hi Allyson. It's typically maiden first, but there's no reason for you to stick with that if you'd prefer it to go last.

      Reply
  70. Tiffany

    Hi,

    I recently got married and I hyphenate my name. I want to change my name on my SS card to just my husbands last name. Can I just change my name to his last name or do I have to use the whole hyphenate name?

    Thanks,
    Tiffany

    Reply
    1. Valera

      Hi Tiffany. If your marriage certificate shows your hyphenated name, that's typically what you'll have to change it to. You may experience flexibility with the SSA, but the DMV may be a different story.

      Reply
  71. Shauntelle Fisher

    I will be getting married soon for the first time. My son has my maiden name. My daughter has my fiancé's. I have a two business LLC's all documented in my maiden name. I would like to take my fiance's name but t fear the legal document nightmare. We are both ok with me keeping my maiden name. I would really like to use my married name for my daughter but would also like to keep my maiden for my son. Oh, and did I mention that my middle name is the one I use daily?!? Help!

    Reply
    1. Valera

      Hi Shauntelle. You could just use your married name informally (in social situations) and continue using your maiden name for all professional and tax-related purposes.

      Reply
  72. kris

    hi, i was planning to keep my middle name and hypen my maiden name to his. my question is..what would be the middle name of my children soon? my current middle name or may maiden name?

    Reply
    1. Valera

      what would be the middle name of my children soon? my current middle name or may maiden name?

      You can choose anything for your child's middle name.

      Reply
  73. Luz Divina

    I got married last October and have been trying to get my name change done since (1 year now). I had done married-maiden, I got my social security card changed thus but when I went to get my state ID they said no. Is there anything I can do? Or will I just have to get my social card redone again?

    Reply
    1. Valera

      Hi Luz. Was an explanation given for your request being denied? Changing your name with the SSA again could entail obtaining a court order.

      Reply
  74. DSA

    Hi! Your replies are so helpful.
    I got married 2 months ago in NY and still reside in NY. In my marriage certificate I chose to take my husband's last name. I haven't gone forth with the legal name change with SS or dmv. I'd now like to have his last name as a hyphen when I change it legally, not as my only last name: so Firstname Maiden-His. Do I need a court order to add the hyphen? Or can I simply show my marriage certificate that already has his last name and hyphen it at the SS and dmv?
    Thanks so much!!

    Reply
    1. Valera

      Hi DSA. Unless you can get your certificate amended (which is reserved for mistakes), you'll likely need a court order.

      Reply
  75. FAITH

    I am getting married in January and want to put my husband's last name before my maiden name, so essentially two last names but not hyphenated!!! So for a fake example Sarah (first), Plain (middle name), And (husband's last name, Tall (my maiden name).
    Sarah Plain And Tall

    Reply
    1. Valera

      Hi Faith. Space-separated names aren't particularly well supported for marriage-based name changes. That's the main problem with such a choice.

      Reply
  76. Julie

    Hello,
    I just got married in September and am thinking I'd like to keep my last name and add his, with no hyphen. I saw a response from Valera saying that "space-separated names aren't particularly well supported for marriage-based name changes." What does that mean exactly?
    I had also been considering having 2 middle names (my original middle name, space, my maiden name), but then it occurred to me that I might need to change my birth certificate. Would that be the case, if I changed my middle name?
    Thank you so much for your help…

    Reply
    1. Valera

      What does that mean exactly?

      It means there's a high probability such a name change wouldn't be accepted by the SSA and DMV.

      I had also been considering having 2 middle names (my original middle name, space, my maiden name), but then it occurred to me that I might need to change my birth certificate. Would that be the case, if I changed my middle name?

      If you were able to implement such a name change you wouldn't have to update your birth certificate to match.

      Reply
  77. Kay

    I have applied for my marriage license 4 days ago, I had only take my fiance surname but now I want to hype my surname to his, the wedding is in two weeks, can I just go back and change it , will there be additional cost? I'm from Minnesota.

    Thanks much ….

    Reply
    1. Valera

      Hi Kay. You can return to the office where you obtained your marriage license and have them void your old license and reissue you another with your preferred name. You may have to repay the license fee, which in Minnesota is quite steep. It's one of the most expensive states in the nation for a marriage license.

      Reply
  78. Senait

    Hi. I am married with children and never formally changed my name but sometimes use the hyphenated version of my maiden-married name. I’m purchasing family address labels and have this question. My hyphenated name is long can I abbreviate my maiden name and use my full last name. So if my name is Sunny Johnson-Rhodes can I purchase the stamp in this format…
    “The J.-Rhodes Family”

    Reply
  79. Coleen

    If I hyphenate my maiden and married name, will I have to change everything or could I keep just my maiden name on everything?

    Reply
    1. Valera

      Hi Coleen. If you're just hyphenating your name on your marriage license/certificate, then it wouldn't actually change anything until you go through the steps of contacting various government entities about your new name change.

      Reply

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