If there's an issue so critical such as whether a woman will take her husband's last name after marriage, it's holding onto the last name or making a decision to drop it off after divorce. It's an issue that most divorced folks talk about especially if the man keeps on complaining that the ex-wife has stuck to the name and has refused to drop it off even after remarrying.
Chances are that the two divorcees might not be seeing eye to eye and apart from discussing their kids, if any; communication is minimized across the board. The man might end up being irritated that the ex-wife is still using his name. Just like anything about divorce being legal the question in most people's minds is whether there are guidelines about this.
However, this does not stop at the divorce level. There are men who might be wondering why the women they have married have refused to drop their last name from a previous marriage. While it might not seem right to some men, sticking to a last name does not really mean the woman is holding on to hopes of remarrying her ex. Love is not involved in keeping a last name or even a maiden name, in particular if an acrimonious divorce was involved. There are newlyweds who are deeply in love but decide to maintain their own names for all kinds of reasons and deeply happy divorcees who refuse to drop their ex's last names for all kinds of reasons.
It is worth noting that after divorce you cannot force an ex-wife to drop her last name except perhaps politely requesting her to do it. Whatever she decides is no longer your business.
As such, there are many reasons you might choose to keep your married name after divorce.
Consistent identity
If a woman keeps the last name of her ex she came to hate and reminds her of a painful part of her past life it must be really worth it. Maintaining a consistent identity is one of the reasons why women justify holding on to the ex's last name. If people had known the woman by that name for over a decade, it makes every sense to stick on to it. At the same time, it's possible that all the academic papers, such as degrees and diplomas earned while still married, were provided with the last name. It is also clear that, professionally, clients and business contacts might be knowing you as Mrs. X and dropping that might bring another whole set of complications.
For instance, Tina Turner in 1975 refused to change her last name after establishing herself, career-wise, with the last name of her husband and keeping it after 13 years of marriage made a lot of sense. Some women believe their time in a past marriage, their investment and input has earned them the name and must be kept.
Children
Children are perhaps the main reason why any mother will maintain a last name after divorce. Any broken marriage that has children might compel the mother to maintain the last name of an ex or a dead husband. Most women cite their children as the reason why they still hold on to the last name since it means they will have the same name as their kids. For some mothers, even a new child in the new marriage ends up with a hyphenated surname combining the last name of the ex with the last name of the new baby's father. At the end of the day, everyone ends up with the last name of the ex.
Changing the last name back is a hassle
Women who have divorced and would like to have a sense of their own identity and forget the man who brought a lot of pain in their lives simply seek to have the last name dropped. However, it becomes clear the hassle involved in changing everything is a tall order, potentially expensive and a long process, especially if changing her maiden name and transforming other items to reflect her married status took a lot of trouble and money.
It means that if you decide to revert to your maiden name you have to remove the last name from your banking information, driver's license, social security card, passport and any other document with the ex's last name. If anyone has gone through this before the reality of going through it again might be reason enough to stick with the ex's last name.
Prestigious name
It goes without saying, a prestigious name is just that, prestigious! If you were married to the Kennedy's, Presley's or any Royal family you already know you have a famous name that can open many doors. It is an esteemed name with a lot of benefits and dropping it off for a normal name that doesn't click anything in the mind once mentioned might not seem very wise. This is why women who have been married to famous people, celebrities, kings, millionaires and presidents among others might not let the name go.
Business reasons
At times, married couples establish so many business relationships using the last name of the husband. Since no one can foresee a future where both of them are separated, it seems logical to support such a decision where the family name establishes businesses. However, in case of a divorce, it makes a lot of sense to maintain the last name of the ex if an established company that has reverted to the ex-wife bears his last name. Companies would lose their standing and good business damaged if the name were to be changed. At the same time, if the customers and business partners know the ex-wife better with the last name of the ex-husband, it makes a lot of sense to maintain that name.
Impossible to let go of former lives
There are times when the woman is not the one who asked for a divorce. She might find it hard for various reasons to just let the last name of the ex go. Chances are she might be emotionally attached and still have feelings for the ex and since no one really knows the future, she might decide to stick with it.
There are cases where the divorce was done in an honest and kind manner and both parties were friendly right through the emotionally wrecking process. At such a case, it might be hard for the woman who did not go through a spiteful separation to just drop her last name, especially if the ex was considerate enough to end the marriage with more than she bargained for.
Fun, unique and exciting
Women have been found to keep their ex's last name for all kinds of reasons. Some women claim that going to their maiden name is a no-no because they did not like their father's to begin with, particularly those whose dads were estranged, drunkards and always absent in virtually all their lives. To such women, the ex's last name is a better prospect, particularly if the divorce was not rancorous. The ex's last name can also be unique, exotic and more fun.
Your last name as the first name
At times, even if you want to change the last name circumstances might force you to stick with it. Apart from keeping the last name for the sake of the kids, business or how exotic and fun it sounds, there are those who might have another reason. For example, a woman in the military may find it easier to stick to their last name because the first name is the last name. You are known by your last name and it's your identity. Dropping it might mean changing your life completely yet unless you leave the military and the country, your colleagues in the military may always refer to you by your last name.
No matter the reason you have for sticking with your ex's last name, it is your right under the law. There are also places where you have to indicate in a divorce decree whether you are keeping the married name or not.
I am divorced and would like to change all of my professional documents etc. to my married name. But I do not know what my legal name actually is! It is urgent that I find out, as I am completing my will and need to use my legal name. Neither my ex-husband nor I can locate our marriage license. What should I do to find out, and hopefully be able to use my married name legally?
thanks,
paula
Hi Paula. If you've never changed your name before, locate your birth certificate for your name. If you can't find it, you can order a certified copy from your local vital records office. Alternatively, locate your social security card for the name that's on there. That would be the name you'd go by.
If you A) can't find your social security card, or B) have previously undergone a name change, try contacting your local social security administration office about the name that's on your identity record. If necessary, you can submit an application for a replacement card.
Did you even understand her question? She is no longer married to the person whose surname she hope to assume. Is that even legal? It looks like fraud to me.
Hi Ericka. She was asking about how to identify her legal name, which was answered.
I was born in Canada and living in British Columbia. I married a Swiss man, in Switzerland, where I resided for the past 6 years. I have now returned to Canada and am waiting for a divorce to go through. I have tried to get my BC driver's license reissued, but even with my old BC license, birth certificate, and old passports in my maiden name, plus a new passport in my new name, several papers indicating both my names, including a copy of my marriage certificate, the unsigned divorce papers issued from the Swiss court (in German), and a notarized paper from a lawyer in BC, requested by the Swiss court re: the divorce (in English), they still want the original Marriage certificate, certified and translated into English.
As I understand it, I can go back to my maiden name at any time, so can I get my driver's license issued with a birth certificate and then change everything back to my maiden name from there, or will I still need the original marriage certificate. I would have to change it at the credit union, on my passport, and my RRSPs. I don't have any credit cards, house or car.
I appreciate any advice you can give me.
Sherri
In order to fulfill BC's request, have you attempted to order a certified copy of your marriage certificate from the Switzerland civil status office?
You'll need to hire a certified translator to translate your marriage certificate to English. The translator will need to provide you an "Affidavit of Translation."
You won't need the original marriage certificate. You'll need a certified copy. That or a divorce certificate, which is not yet available as it hasn't been finalized.
Thank you so very much for the advice, this is my first marriage as well as divorce.
Can I keep my hyphenated maiden-married name when I divorce and then add a new name to those if I remarry?
I want to keep my current maiden and married last name when l divorce and legally add my new husbands name. Is this possible somehow?
Hi Tameka. Sure, there shouldn't be an issue with that.
I was not given a middle name at birth so I have always used my maiden name as a middle name. I have been married twice (and divorced twice) and each time I married I took my husband's last name and kept using it until I married the next husband. I am getting married again and will change my name to my future husband's last name. Will that then be my legal name?
Yes, that will be your new legal name.
Hope this one is the charm. If not. Gurl bye
Can I just say that these arguments can also be used to justify why you shouldn't change your name when you get married to begin with? Just switch the jargon and it makes sense. Ah, archaic rituals.
Mm, I don't think so entirely due to the complication of remarrying when you already have children.
After my mother and father divorced, she used the name Mrs. Maddox Shepherd. Maddox was her maiden name; Shepherd was her married name. She cited a custom for women after divorce to use a new name made up this way — maiden name and married name. Do you know any documentaion for such a custom? (That custom would have been hard to follow if her maiden name had been, say, Good or German.)
Hi Ted. There's a tradition where some parents intentionally don't specify a middle name for their girls, as it's assumed it'll be dropped and replaced for their maiden name upon marriage. I've not heard much about divorcees doing the same thing. A change such as the one your mother achieved would require a judge agreeing to it during divorce proceedings.
During the divorce process, most states will typically allow the restoration of a maiden or prior name, while changes to a non-previous middle name aren't guaranteed to be accepted. That's why maiden to middle is more commonly known, due to the ease of which it can be adopted upon marriage.
This article is so true! I kept my married name because of my children and I like it and my father isn't in my life. Plus my most recent child has my ex name too because it's OUR name now and we love it!
I have many that argue be cause my name is my exhbs but its can my name for 24 years and she I had my youngest her father was t in the picture so I gave her my last name it they always say it's not even my name and I'm the one in the wrong. It's so frustrating.
I was thinking of having a new husband's name as a middle name and keeping ex husband's surname due to that being my children's surname. Could I do that via the new marriage certificate or would it have to be deed poll as it's not my new husband's name? Would it be simpler to add on new husband's name after my ex's surname instead?
Hi Alice. Replacing your middle name with your spouse's surname isn't a viable option unless you go the court petition route.
i think my x kept my last name just to irritate me. she said everyone knows her by my last name which doesnt make any sense because she went back to where she lived before we even knew each other.
she was threatning to divorce me if i didnt knock down the legal separation. she gave me 3 weeks. i told my counselor to tell her dont bother waiting threee weeks she can start the divorce right away
i was more less totally ignored for the last 5 years of our marriage so when she left it solved my problem.
she was gone out witht her friends so much i didnt feel hardly any loss. plus i found out who my real friends were and it wasnt any of the people she drank and threw darts with on friday nite. come home sometime before daylight be hug over saturday go sew with her friends on sunday ..not to menton going to so and so house for an hour then be gone till midnight. she was trying to get to go out for lunch with her after wed worked out the divorce at a mediation session at the court how crazy is that/
then of course calling me from 1800 hundred miles away to see what temperature thermostat was i the car she took . how stupid is that a mechanic can figure it oout by taking it out and putting a hotter one in. i told her if it was to cold get some cardboard and block off part of the radiator.
i finally woke up 3 years ago (17 years after the divorce) my life is done im 61 years old got fibromyalgia and diabetes. the cardiologist says he thinks i had a heart attack at some point in my life
its not so much i try to avoid women life and work took alot of time so now all i got to do is wait to go. i told her id wasted the best part of my life on her and this is what i get. she tells me to never talk to her agin which is funny because shed call me from `1800 miles away to talk after the divorce. i found out in about 20 minutes that her friends were still the most improtant part of her life. i was under the idea that her husband come first but not with her . everybody else then me is the way it went. so i just adopted that as how it is and its worked pretty good .,relationship is at the bottom of the list of prioritys for me now. ive been totally disabled for so long i cant remember when i worked the last time i worked. if i had satellite tv id be almost 100 percent happy .
A judge Awarded me back my Last name of Yuille when I divorced mr Leckington. but I was in a Half way house so they said no cause I was a ward of state, then I got out of half way house on parole they said no cause I was still a ward of state . Now I am not a ward of state but am told I only had 2 years to get name change done, Is there andyone that can help me I dont have money to do all this and I will be going back to school and would like my Yuille name back,
Hi Sandra. I'm not sure who you're referring to when you reference being told no. If your divorce decree restored your maiden name, then you'll need to get a certified copy of it to change your name with the SSA, DMV, etc.
I'm remarried and have my husband's last name– I seriously hate the name nd am referred by my former husband's name. Is it possible to go back to it, as well as family unity with my kids?!
Yes, you can. But you'll have to petition the court to do so.
Hi, I've used my first husbands last name, after we divorced i never dropped his name.when i remarried the officiant used my name as it was on my drivers license to indicate under brides name…on the next line he had to indicate birthnames..
He did ,and next my new last name . ..Now that I need to aquire a new birth certificate I'm having the hardest time .They have many questions and need proof of how I went from one name to another? How can I proof this and what paper work do I need ?
Hi Rosario. You can provide documents showing your name change transition. Your original birth certificate documenting your maiden name. The marriage certificate from your first marriage documenting your name change. Your new marriage certificate showing your new name. They should provide you with a documented list of acceptable identity documents, and not leave it up to you to guess.
How does it affect my credit score, and credit cards, if I went back to my maiden name?
Hi Mary Jane. Going back to your maiden name won't affect your credit score. Name change notifications automatically bubble up to the credit bureaus without your needing to do anything. If you were to pull your credit report, you'll see the different names tied to your identity. This even includes misspellings. This is to make sure your credit history is fully accounted for.
Can I use my new husband's last name as my informal name but still keep my ex-husband's last name as my legal name?
Hi Nylecoj. Yes, absolutely you can.
That is a great thing to do you keep it informal. I work for the federal government and to change my name on everything that I do would be an extreme hassle. My new husband understands this and I go by his last name informally but legally have chosen to keep my ex-husband's last name who doesn't have a problem with that either
My sister married a guy for a couple of years, then divorced him because he was "abusive." They had no children. Now, decades later, she is still going by his surname. I don't get it! The only theory I can come up with is that our childhood was so bad she doesn't want to go back to that name. However, I am estranged from our family of origin and she is in pretty tight with them. Again, none of this makes sense to me.
BTW, I have had a legal name change. It is NOT that big of a deal. All these folks whining about how it's such a hassle, etc… I suppose if you own a lot of property and/or businesses it would be a pain, but for the average person it is not such a huge thing!
I am going to be divorcing my second husband, at his request because he has been having an affair and wants a divorce. We have been married almost 17 years but he has never like the idea of a woman keeping her husbands name when there is a divorce. My first husband passed away during our marriage, we were not divorced. Would it be proper to hyphenate my maiden name with my first husbands name or would it be better to just take my maiden name back?
Hi Jill. If that's what you'd prefer, then there's certainly nothing wrong with that. During divorce proceedings you can request the judge include an order to have a hyphenated version of your first husband's name in place. It's not assured anything other than your maiden name will be granted, but you can request it nonetheless.
I have kept an ex's last name, but ONLY because there was a child involved… I personally believe that's the only case a woman should even consider keeping an ex's last name until getting remarried.
Hi Angel. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on the subject.
I married my wife and she wanted to keep her ex husband last name, for me that was totally out of the question, I told he if That was the case then go back to him I will have separations papers done done ASAP, yeah everyone has ther own opinion and mine is nope you take my last name or this will be a short marriage. I pay the bills I pay the health insurance so f*ck that change it or I will walk point blank.
Wow, that's mysogenistic… so what? You pay for stuff? Aren't you special? I can get being annoyed that she'd prefer to use her ex-husband's name to yours… but to give her an ultimatum: use your name and only your name (instead of maybe her maiden name, for example) or else?
That sounds like chauvinistic bullying and little more. As a woman, if my husband had made the same demand, my only response would have been. "Good riddance. Must have been a reason I didn't want to change it in the first place." Or, as the Internet would say, "Bye Felicia!"
Amen! If I had a do over I'd never have changed my name. The kids should have both names, It's the fairest option. We don't "belong" to our husbands, it is archaic and sexist I now realize. My whole professional career I've been married, we have kids and earned a doctorate so I'm exasperated that I may have to keep the name. We aren't even sure we want to divorce, but as I get older I questioned why I felt compelled to change my name and he refused to hyphenate like I did. Just sexist and irks me and that alone makes me want to change it back. I'm still not sure if changing back after over a decade of career and kids means I'm "stuck" but feels so :(
My husbands ex wife married a Turk and took his name for some things but now she wants to go back to using my husbands name and of course we think it's wrong is there any law against it?
Hi Tracey. Unless there's any attempt to commit fraud or avoid debts, there's no law against it.
hello i am suriena i for got to tell the lawyer that i want my madem i am divorce now is there any way i can take it back my madem name or no
suriena k davidson
Hi Suriena. Contact the Clerk of Court where you divorce was finalized. Ask if it's possible for you to restore your maiden name after entry of judgment. Even if your divorce is finalized. some courts have applications and procedures in place to restore a maiden name, even if you did not or forgot to explicitly request it during divorce proceedings.
My aunt is divorced and has dual citizenship in the USA and overseas. She is required to prove that she is LEGALLY using her ex-husband's last name overseas, as her last name was never changed when she and my uncle divorced. Where can she go to get such proof? The court granting the divorce say they have no document to provide. Thanks for your help.
Hi Donnie. Are you saying she originally did change her name upon marriage and she chose to maintain her ex's name after divorce? Or are you saying she never changed her name to her husband's, and all her documents are still in her prior or maiden name?
If you divorce but choose to keep your marrie name (due to having kids and all) and remarry, will your name have to be hyphenated using your first married name-second married name?
Hi Tonya. If you choose to hyphenate, most states will allow maiden-second married name.
I kept my ex husbands last name for my kids(15 years now) Now they are grown and last daughter is getting married. I kept my last name as my middle name and have always signed everything that way.
I own real estate and a car, am so ready to change my name. Will I have to change everything at the same time or can I wait til things are sold?
Hi Dena. You can do it either way, as there shouldn't be a question of your identity.
I divorced 10 years ago and kept my ex-husbands last name since we have 2 children. They are older now and I want to change back to my maiden name. My divorce decree states that I was to keep my ex-husbands last name as I requested. I am not getting married. What can I do now about changing my name back?
Hi Jess. Since your divorce decree doesn't have an order to restore your maiden name, you will have to petition the court for a name change.
Wouldn't Jess also have the option of asking the County Clerk if it's possible for to restore her maiden name after entry of judgment?
No, the county clerk doesn't have the authority to do that. She could have asked the judge to amend the order, but that window of opportunity is typically only open for a short while after the divorce has been decreed final.
Valera, i have a question….I am divorced and have my divorced papers, I wasnt have to go to my hearing due to where i was residing in and didnt have a ride. On my Divorce papers it has as i am the defendant with my Name Renee Lynn Johnson Lane. okay, i want to know what i can do to go back to my maiden name as Renee Lynn Johnson. On my birth certificate is has Johnson and I have my High School Diploma with Johnson. How can I get my name back. The divorce was in 2003..
Hi Renee. Since your divorce decree doesn't have an order restoring your maiden name, you have two options: 1) Try to contact the court to get it amended, which would be unlikely, but worth an attempt, or 2) Petition the court for a name change, which is a surefire way to restore your maiden name.
On my divorce papers a name change (back to maiden name) was granted but I never got around to changing it on anything (drivers license, passport, ssi) . I'm getting married soon and was wondering if this will be a problem? Will I have to revert first to my maiden name?
Hi Jane. No, it won't cause you any problems. You don't have to do any intermediary name change.
I have almost the same question
I was granted my maiden name back through the court but decided to just keep my married last name. Our divorce was 2 years ago. Will I get charged or get in any trouble just keeping that last name and not going back to my maiden name??
No, you won't get into any trouble. You don't have to return to your maiden name if you've changed your mind and prefer to maintain your married name..
Hi! I wss married for 20+ yrs and I got divorced a year ago. On court I agreed to have my name changed back to maiden name but haven't change it yet. Could there be any problems if I decide not to change it ?
No. No problems.
My husband and I have married each other twice and are now looking at our second divorce. (Ugh!) The first time we divorced, I kept his last name. This time around, I'd like to go back to my maiden name (after 24 years of having his last name). Our eldest daughter has already married and changed her last name and I expect the same will happen with our youngest daughter too. So, no need to keep it for the kids. Career/professional wise, it wouldn't be a hassle. They would probably expect me to speak Spanish, but that's another story. We own no property together. I would like a new start, even if my credit is still crappy haha. Just my two cents.
Hi Inadelle. Thanks for sharing your experience.
Same going scenario, except the Spanish part, going on here.
Amazing how similar
Hi! My mother-in-law's husband of 17 years passed away (they were separated for 10 years of that but never divorced). That was her third marriage. She changed her last name to her 2nd husbands last name, just because her youngest child (Who is a grown man) has that last name. Is this legal?
Yes, it is legal.
hi I am dating a married guy and he is in the process of getting a divorce but the wife told him that she cannot change her married name back to her maiden name is she telling the truth and if she keeps his name will she be able to draw from his Social Security although they are divorced
During divorce proceedings a person can request their maiden name be restored. Such an instruction would be included in the divorce decree by the judge. It's up to the person to request it though.
Yes. The name is irrelevant.
My will is made for my daughter to inherit when I'm gone. She has divorced and reverted back to her maiden name. My will is in her married surname but no mention of her husband. Will she be able to claim her inheritance without me having to alter all of my will to accommodate the original surname. Iris
Yes, she will get inheritance, but may have to prove that she previously held the married name. Producing a certified copy of the marriage certificate should suffice.
I have read through all the comments and questions but didn't find the following senerio, I am going through a divorce and thought I would just change my last name back to my maiden name (Long) but hated that idea due to father issues. Then, I was thinking of changing my last name to just be my mothers maiden name (Greene). However, since I still have minor children could I do the following: change my last name to use married name (Gaddes) hyphened Mothers maiden name (Greene). It would look like this Gaddes-Greene. I hope this makes sense, thoughts?
Hi Kimberly. That would be at the discretion of the judge. You can put in the request and if it's denied you'll have to file a petition with the court.
I have been legally divorced for over 20 years. The divorce decree didn't mention my maiden name of whether i could change it or not. I am remarried and am trying to get a school certification although when I got the same certification years ago it was in my ex married name. Now they are saying legally my name never changed but I'm remarried. They said i need to change my name legally through the courts and it will cost me $250.00. Is there any way around it? I'm very upset. I only have a certain amount of time to get my certification. Plz help
Hi Minerva. If you've remarried, and you've legally changed your name to your new married name, then your current name is your new married name. Your marriage certificate, not divorce decree, is the document you'd use to facilitate your name change.
I've read through many of these comments and most, if not all are from ex-spouses deciding whether or not to change their names or if they'll run into trouble. I'm on the other end…the ex-husband. Our divorce decree states that " …wife, has requested that she shall have her former name of **** *** ******, restored to her." Although she may choose not to change her name back (after 20+ years), I cannot enforce this? This is not binding? I'm in California if this makes a difference. Thank you in advance.
It's not enforceable, nor is it binding. It just provides an option for your ex-wife to use, if she so chooses.
Hi, my sister was granted her maiden name back, which she used to sign off of the house loan. But she will sometimes use her maiden name and sometimes she'll use her married name. I told her she shouldn't do that. It could get her in the wrong trouble. Am I right, we live in Indiana. or is there a way to find out. Thanks
Hi Yvette. While the divorce decree provided an order for her to restore her maiden name, it doesn't happen automatically. It's not clear if she actually went through the process of legally changing her name back. As for getting in trouble, someone can get themselves in a fine mess if they're using different names to commit fraud or avoid debts. For legal documents, she should be using her legal name (whichever that is). When filling out government forms, job applications, taxes, use the legal name.
Hi I was married for ten years and am divorced for 30 years I kept my exs last name because of professional licenses I am getting married to another woman who is divorced and kept her married name because of children can I take her exs last name since she kept it
Hi Tracee. Yes, you can.
what would be the benefit to changing my last name to my husband's after he's already asked for a divorce? The name had not been changed after 8 years of marriage, but after a divorce was in the works I was told I should take his last name. I use it publicly on social media but haven't established anything else in that name.
Hi Khristine. The only benefit would be if it satisfies your personal preference. Otherwise, it'll be more work to change it than to keep your current name as-is.
My elderly stepmother remarried after my husbands Dad died. Her marraige certificate has her new married name on it but she did not change any legal document..drivers license, SS card, trust accounts. etc. She recently had to divorce this man she was married to for 10 yrs. What is her legal name since nothing was changed? She lives in New Mexico and we are having to get our Real ID requirements up to date. Will this be a problem and what is her legal name??
Hi LaVonne. It's whatever her name was prior to her last marriage.
Personally I have been divorced for 8 years now and I remarried 3 years ago. I still have my ex's last name, I never "legally" took my new husband's last name due to having a young child with the ex. I wanted that child and his teachers to be able to connect the two. But now, that ex is remarrying and I feel odd about keeping the name still. My son is 11 years old and I am thinking about still keeping it but hyphenating my husband's last name. Then again a part of me says my son is old enough and it's ok to change to my husband's last name.
My question is this, is it hard to change from a hyphenated name to just one last name at a later time?
Hi Alice. It's not hard. You'll just have to go through a court petitioned name change for a follow-up name change.
I have a kind of interesting situation. I was divorced and on my divorce decree it does state that I had intentions of taking back my maiden name. I however, did not go to the social security office to change it. I am getting remarried and I am taking his last name and my SSN has my ex's last name but all of my identification is under my maiden name. Will I have any issues with getting remarried if I have all of my other paperwork such as BC and divorce decree? I live in HI!
Hi Grace. No, you shouldn't face any problems.
My husband's ex wife took her maiden name back after they divorced.We found out just recently that she still uses my husband's last name, even though we have in writing (divorce degree) that she restored her name back to her maiden name… My question is, is this legal? Can she really still use our name? She even gave her daughter our name, and blamed the hospital on it… I just don't know, something doesn't seem right about this situation.
* I forgot to mention that she used different names at different times… Our last name, her maiden name and also her last ex husband's name ( she's actually going through another divorce right now).
Yes, it is legal. A divorce decree order restoring a prior name isn't a command, it's an option. She doesn't have to follow through to change it for real if she doesn't want to.
My current husband's ex wife still using his last name and recently got married. My question is since I just changed my name will all benefits belong to me or is she entitled to something?
Hi Tracie. Name usage doesn't have any affect on benefits. It's marital status that counts.
I am filing for my divorce on my own. Due to work related issues and a child I do not feel the need to change my name back to my maiden name. However on the paperwork drawn up for me the line item is listed as:
14. NAME CHANGE
I ask the Court to change my name back to the name I had before my marriage
How can I re-word it so that there is no request for a name change. Any help would be appreciated.
Hi Michelle. Saying you want a name change on your divorce papers doesn't obligate you to follow through. It just gives you the option. If you specify that you want to go back to your maiden but never do, that's fine. If you don't specify it and later do want to return to your maiden, then you've likely locked yourself out of that option through use of the divorce decree.
My wife kept her husband's last name as she likes it better than her maiden name and also because she shares the name with her daughter, I know she has no "love" feelings for her ex. With that said, it does make me feel a little strange that she kept his name. I just look at is as something I need to get over. It's my deal not hers and I totally get her reasoning. But, yeah…my insecurities creep in and it does bug me sometimes. Haha. And I'm 45. What the hell? Sigh.
Hi Brad. Thanks for sharing your perspective.
Am a divorce woman.. Can I file or bring my new spouse that is living outside, U. S with my ex husband last name… Because am still using my ex last name.. Can I change the last name to my new spouse last name before filing him to U. S
Hi Mercy. You can change your name to your spouse once you've acquired a certified copy of your marriage record.
I am divorced and kept my ex husbands last name. I didn't ask to be restored to my maiden name in the decree. I am getting remarried and want to use my maiden name on my new marriage license. Will that cause me any problems getting my new married name put on all my legal documents, i.e. Social Security card, etc.?
On your marriage license application, where it asks you to specify your name, you must put your current legal name and not a prior name. Using your ex's name wouldn't prevent you from changing your surname to your spouse's.
Hi. My divorce was final in January. In the papers I elected to restore my maiden name. However, when I remarried in March I hadn't changed my name back yet on drivers license etc so used old married name on marriage application. For the name change field on marriage application I didn't put anything (though my maiden name is mentioned in maiden name field).
My question: can I still use divorce decree to change back to maiden name and if I do will I have an issue proving that I'm married to my new spouse? Hope this makes sense.
Yes, you can still use it.
No, it wouldn't be a problem. They're unrelated issues.
My wife was court ordered. How can I make her change it
Hi Tony. Unless it was a part of the settlement agreement, there's not much you can do to compel the name change.
Does anyone have the experience of going through a divorce and being able to add their maiden name to their children's middle names to ease any confusion about parentage?
Hi DrK. You'd typically have to go to court and the other parent may have to agree to the change in writing.
My husband is going through a horrible custody cause. we are raising his daughter . she is remarried now and still uses Arrao.. if she has a new drivers license under her married name is this illegal that she is still using Arrao in court and other legal things
Hi Karen. It depends on if she's trying to commit fraud or evade debt. It's also not clear which is her legal name. You say she has it changed on her driver's license, but what about her social security card? Some people have name mismatches with the SSA and DMV, where they update one but delay updating the other. If the SSA still has her maiden name, then it would make sense for her to continue using it.
Please help,
I've been separated from my chronically abusive spouse for five years now and within these years I've gotten my master's degree still bearing his name (this is of course without his support). There is a child from the marriage which he has constantly rejected as being his own so as to avoid any kind of support from him and this child (boy)is bearing his name too.,my confusion and question is, can I change both my name and that of the child to my own name or should both of us bear my maiden name..
Hi Nony. It's up to you how you choose to change your name and your child's. It's whichever you prefer.
Nony that is a very good choice on your behalf … especially given the fact that this man was abusive and rejex his own child why would you want to be reminded daily of that man and his last name associated with you and your life this is exactly one of the reasons why the maiden name should revert back as the original name once a divorce happens. My ex-wife was a Flander that cheater and abusive we had three beautiful children a beautiful home a beautiful life. When I chose to divorce her because she would not change. I believe it is a slap in my face for her to continue on using the marital name I have sensed used a different name for myself just because I feel tarnished by her flaunting my name…
Hello I was just divorced August ,23, 2016 and on the divorce I asked to change my name but now I want to stay with my marriage name because of my daughter she likes that we have the same last name she already went through mm and dad separating I don't want to take this away. Can I keep my married name if on divorce papers say ok to change it or do I have to go back to court and say I want to keep it? Or just leave it alone?
You don't have to change it. You don't have to return to court. You can leave your name untouched.
Personally I think the person that wrote this article is ignorant. I don't care what the argument is I believe when a man marries a woman and the woman in marriage accept his proposal and is granted his last name that is sacred that is entailed in marriage. I think especially after divorce when they do not see eye-to-eye and they have grown apart and decide to separate that they're definitely should be a separation of the last name that was granted two his wife. I don't care what the argument is a woman should not be able to keep the married name regardless if they have children or not. The children are apart of the father but the ex-wife is no longer apart of the ex-husband. This should be common law that after divorce the name of the ex-wife returns to her maiden name. I believe there is still a connection left open when the ex-wife is allowed to carry on the marital name this should be illegal and considered as a counterfeit illusion and a fake name at that point.
Hello,
I've been divorced almost 30 years, and like some of the comments, I kept it so I would have the same name as my daughter. I always said I'd change it back to my maiden name once she got married. She's not married yet, but I have a feeling it will happen in the next couple of years.
Petitioning the court for a name change was mentioned a couple of times so I'm assuming that's what I need to do. If so, will I have to show divorce papers/ proof that I'm divorced?
Thank you
No, you will not have to show proof of divorce.
I went through a divorce and legally went back to my maiden name. I own and operate a business in my married name and elected to continue working under that name. I changed everything license, passport, etc and now I am struggling with needing to use two names and would rather have the married name back for personal and professional. Am I able to change my name back to the married name legally if I elect to do so?
Yes, you can legally return to your previously married name.
I have kept my ex's name so I will have the same last name as my children. Now that my children are older, my youngest in college, I have decided to change my name to my maiden name. I changed my name first at SS then to DMV and my professional license. Little did I know that I still have a lot to change, banks, insurance companies, some professional docs, mortgage, life insurance, liability insurance, car insurance, loans….etc..etc. I now regret that I started this process. Can i revert everything and change my name back to my ex-husbands's name? I am known in my industry as Dr M, and M___ being my ex's last name. It will be difficult for everyone to identify me with my maiden name. Is it possible to go back to using my ex's name? go back to SS, DMV and professional license? I need help please…
Yes, you can reverse the name change process, but you'll have to obtain a court order first. The government institutions you cited will need such a document to change your name again.
hi, I was married back in europe and came with my husband in united states. Later we got divorced, but I did my divorce back home where i was married at. Cheaper that way. Its been 15 yrs since then and due to kids I kept his last name. Now i like to change it to my maiden. Since my divorce is from another country and I live in US, how can I change my last name? i do have it in english copy and noterized from back home. What do i do to start the process? thank you
Hi Nina. If your divorce certificate contains an order to restore your maiden name, then you can use it. Otherwise, you'll have to petition the court for a general adult name change.
So I was married before and changed my name. When I divorced I never changed my name back since it was easier not going through those motions.
I am now engaged again and for my new marriage I would like to use my maiden name till I take my new husband name. What documents do I need to change and what can I wait till I get married?
Could I just get social security and license changed? Then hold off on notifying my job as well as bank and credit cards?
I am getting married next September and I realized I need to get this in the works well beforehand.
Thank you
If your divorce decree includes an order restoring your maiden name, then use it to change your name with the SSA, DMV, etc. If it contains no such order, you must petition the court for a name change.
I have been married twice..so obviously divorced once and looks like I will be going through another. Can I go back to my last name from my first marriage?
Hi Sevans. During the divorce proceedings request the judge restore your preferred prior name.
my husband and i were together for 14 years then we separated (not legal) i went to work but i used my maiden name for 35 years but my ss card has my married name on it and ss has my work history under my married name can i change my name back to my maiden name name before i collect my ss my husband has since died and we never shared anything in the 32 years we were apart
Hi Ann. You will have to petition the court for the SSA to change your name back to your maiden.
I will be married for 7 years this June. I haven't changed my name on some of my documents like my social security card, or DL but everything else has been changed this day one. My question is when I change my name will it be counted for the 7yrs that I have been married or treated as the date it was changed. I'm from IL please help
From the date it was changed. No backdating.
So please answer me this. What if the new boyfriend is just unsettled with her retaining the last name of her husband since they have been divorced 8 years and he's remarried. They have kids together and now they are teenagers. It can't be as easy as well its my daughters last name.
Hi Dan. Ultimately, it's her choice to maintain the name or revert to a prior. There's been cases of spouses and spouses' spouses upset over their ex maintaining their surname, even when the divorce decree granted an order restoring a prior name. There's no recourse for them. If the person doesn't want to change their name, there's not much that can be done to compel them.
hi I got divorced and still used my husbands last name, i on my passport, And Dl, now I’m getting married again and would like to change to my current husbands last name. What do I need to do? Do I need to provide paper work stating that I was divorced, and never changed my last name or would my current marriage certificat which was issued outside the United States work to change my passport and Dl to my new name
Hi Dana. You don't need to reference your divorce papers. Your foreign marriage certificate is sufficient.
Thank you for your response, my marriage certificate is not the original as I was married outside the United States and the certificate is not in English, however I have a copy translated in English and notarized, would this be accepted, if not, what do I need to do? My husband is outside the United States and not a citizen.
Hi Dana. If your foreign marriage certificate is a certified copy, you're good to go.
My ex wife told me she lost my last name, because I didn’t document that she could keep it.
Hi Cody. I don't know what you mean by this. Please clarify.
I divorced my ex in 2006 and hyphenated using maiden-ex's name because i had two young kids and it would be easier having the same last name. Now my youngest is in his last year of high school and I want to remove the -Ex name. It is my legal name on all my documents (I think…) I know my bank accounts, w-2's, social security, license and passport are all in that name.
How do I go about dropping the hyphen legally? Do I just need my birth certificate and the divorce decree or will the birth certificate alone do the trick since I'm hyphenated?
Thank you!
If your divorce decree includes an order dropping your ex's last name, then that's the only document you'll need. If it includes no such order, you'll have to petition the court to drop the name.
Thank you. I'll have to check my divorce decree… haven't looked at it in years!
I came in the US thru Fiancé Visa and married my bf in Cali. We’re in the process of divorcing now after 10 yrs of marriage. I have all my documents under his last name like my very first SS card, US passport and DL. He wants me not to keep his last name after divorce. I have 2 children from my previous marriage from abroad, and they acquired citizenship through me. If I change my name, will it affect my children’s US passport once we’re renewing them since I’m having a different name? I established my identity in the US using my husband’s last name. It would be a pain for me to change my name after divorce. Please advice me. Thank you.
No, it will not affect them.
I moved to the US in 2007 and married an American citizen and took his last name. In 2012 we divorced and the judge asked me what name I want after the divorce; I said I will revert back to my maiden name so the divorce decree says that the maiden name is restored to me. After a little while I realized what a hassle would be o go through the name change process and chose to keep the married name. The issue is that now I want to register my marriage and divorce in my home country so I can obtain an ID with my married name but they want the divorce decree to say that I can keep the married name? What should I do? All my documents here were never changed to my maiden name.
Hi Adina.
You have a few ways to go:
1. You can contact the court and ask that your divorce decree be amended, but that's unlikely to be accepted.
2. You can obtain a court ordered name change, which would override your divorce decree.
3. You can explain that the restoration of your maiden name on the divorce decree was legally nonbinding and that your legal name is still your married name.
Can a person Ugo back to a last name they have no document for? Example I'm adopted I'm getting a divorce, can I go back to my name before I was adopted or do I have to use my adopted name which I have a birth certificate for. My name before I was adopted I have no birth certificate.
Hi Barbara. During your divorce proceedings, you can request the judge restore your name before adoption. It's no guarantee it'll be accepted, especially without supporting documentation.
If the judge denies your request, you'll have to petition the court for a name change, which doesn't require supporting documents.
Do I have to change my last name back to my madien name when I get divorced or can I keep my married name forever? Tennessee laws
You do not have to change it. You can keep your married name as long as you prefer.
You can still ask the judge to restore your maiden name or a prior name in the divorce decree, but you don't have to actually change it. Having it there will give you the option to change it if you later have a change of heart.
I was hoping to get an answer because I haven't been able to get ahold of my lawyer and it's now the weekend. If I just had my divorce finalized on the 24th of march 2018 and when the judge asked me whether I wanted to keep my ex-husband's last name or take my maiden name back, I said I wanted to go back to my maiden last name. When he told my kids that I was going to have a different last name then them, they were very upset. After a lot of thought I want to keep his last name. Since I haven't even received any papers on the divorce, can I still change my mind and keep it legally? If it matters it is in the state of Ohio. Please and thank you for any help.
An order in your divorce decree restoring your maiden name simply gives you the option to revert if you so chose. It's not automatic. Do nothing, and your current name stays the same.
Down the road, if you want to return to your maiden name, you can use your divorce decree to do it instead of having to petition the court.
I am divorced and still has my ex last name. I am about to remarry and would like to have my maiden name on the marriage certificate. Is this possible? After marriage, I plan to change my last name to my second husband's last name.
Hi Mary. It varies by state. Some will permit you to return to your maiden name or a previous surname.
Amarie
I am divorce I kept my ex last name
Now, I am remarried, I would like to know can I still keep my ex last name, and my current husband name as well? Reason being all of my certification high school Diploma and BA degree is in my ex last name. Also my DL and SS, Passport, will it be a problem if I leave every thing the way it is or do I ofto change them all to my current husband last name
You can hyphenate, if that's what you're suggesting.
You can leave them unchanged.
I'm divorce but still have my birth maiden- and my ex name I want to get married again can I drop my ex name and add my present husband or do I of to do paper work before getting married and after married. I just want to do my IDs once..
Hi Keneisha. You can make the change at once after your upcoming marriage.
my husband passed away and i would like to use only my madien name, all the info i have read is about divorce and some just crazy on how to do it. is there an easy way to change a name?
Hi Ellen. No, there isn't an easier way. You'd have to petition the court to return to your maiden name.
Hello,
I was divorced 10 years ago but kept his last name, did not change it back to maiden. Now I'm trying to get married, at the courthouse they asked me for a certified copy of divorce decree, it says I have to change my last name back to maiden one. Do I need to change the name to maiden and then apply for marriage license, then change to new last name again? or Can I proceed to only change it once after new marriage?
No, you do not.
Yes.
I was married for 15 years legally changed my maiden name to my married name. I have now been divorced almost 3 years. I took my maiden name back legally through the divorce. I now want to go back to my ex husbands last name. Is there anyway to do that? I already changed everything to my maiden name but wish I didn’t for numerous reasons. so can I take back my ex husbands name even though I legally already went back to my maiden name?
You'll have to head to court and file a petition for a regular adult name change.