If there's an issue so critical such as whether a woman will take her husband's last name after marriage, it's holding onto the last name or making a decision to drop it off after divorce. It's an issue that most divorced folks talk about especially if the man keeps on complaining that the ex-wife has stuck to the name and has refused to drop it off even after remarrying.
Chances are that the two divorcees might not be seeing eye to eye and apart from discussing their kids, if any; communication is minimized across the board. The man might end up being irritated that the ex-wife is still using his name. Just like anything about divorce being legal the question in most people's minds is whether there are guidelines about this.
However, this does not stop at the divorce level. There are men who might be wondering why the women they have married have refused to drop their last name from a previous marriage. While it might not seem right to some men, sticking to a last name does not really mean the woman is holding on to hopes of remarrying her ex. Love is not involved in keeping a last name or even a maiden name, in particular if an acrimonious divorce was involved. There are newlyweds who are deeply in love but decide to maintain their own names for all kinds of reasons and deeply happy divorcees who refuse to drop their ex's last names for all kinds of reasons.
It is worth noting that after divorce you cannot force an ex-wife to drop her last name except perhaps politely requesting her to do it. Whatever she decides is no longer your business.
As such, there are many reasons you might choose to keep your married name after divorce.
Consistent identity
If a woman keeps the last name of her ex she came to hate and reminds her of a painful part of her past life it must be really worth it. Maintaining a consistent identity is one of the reasons why women justify holding on to the ex's last name. If people had known the woman by that name for over a decade, it makes every sense to stick on to it. At the same time, it's possible that all the academic papers, such as degrees and diplomas earned while still married, were provided with the last name. It is also clear that, professionally, clients and business contacts might be knowing you as Mrs. X and dropping that might bring another whole set of complications.
For instance, Tina Turner in 1975 refused to change her last name after establishing herself, career-wise, with the last name of her husband and keeping it after 13 years of marriage made a lot of sense. Some women believe their time in a past marriage, their investment and input has earned them the name and must be kept.
Children
Children are perhaps the main reason why any mother will maintain a last name after divorce. Any broken marriage that has children might compel the mother to maintain the last name of an ex or a dead husband. Most women cite their children as the reason why they still hold on to the last name since it means they will have the same name as their kids. For some mothers, even a new child in the new marriage ends up with a hyphenated surname combining the last name of the ex with the last name of the new baby's father. At the end of the day, everyone ends up with the last name of the ex.
Changing the last name back is a hassle
Women who have divorced and would like to have a sense of their own identity and forget the man who brought a lot of pain in their lives simply seek to have the last name dropped. However, it becomes clear the hassle involved in changing everything is a tall order, potentially expensive and a long process, especially if changing her maiden name and transforming other items to reflect her married status took a lot of trouble and money.
It means that if you decide to revert to your maiden name you have to remove the last name from your banking information, driver's license, social security card, passport and any other document with the ex's last name. If anyone has gone through this before the reality of going through it again might be reason enough to stick with the ex's last name.
Prestigious name
It goes without saying, a prestigious name is just that, prestigious! If you were married to the Kennedy's, Presley's or any Royal family you already know you have a famous name that can open many doors. It is an esteemed name with a lot of benefits and dropping it off for a normal name that doesn't click anything in the mind once mentioned might not seem very wise. This is why women who have been married to famous people, celebrities, kings, millionaires and presidents among others might not let the name go.
Business reasons
At times, married couples establish so many business relationships using the last name of the husband. Since no one can foresee a future where both of them are separated, it seems logical to support such a decision where the family name establishes businesses. However, in case of a divorce, it makes a lot of sense to maintain the last name of the ex if an established company that has reverted to the ex-wife bears his last name. Companies would lose their standing and good business damaged if the name were to be changed. At the same time, if the customers and business partners know the ex-wife better with the last name of the ex-husband, it makes a lot of sense to maintain that name.
Impossible to let go of former lives
There are times when the woman is not the one who asked for a divorce. She might find it hard for various reasons to just let the last name of the ex go. Chances are she might be emotionally attached and still have feelings for the ex and since no one really knows the future, she might decide to stick with it.
There are cases where the divorce was done in an honest and kind manner and both parties were friendly right through the emotionally wrecking process. At such a case, it might be hard for the woman who did not go through a spiteful separation to just drop her last name, especially if the ex was considerate enough to end the marriage with more than she bargained for.
Fun, unique and exciting
Women have been found to keep their ex's last name for all kinds of reasons. Some women claim that going to their maiden name is a no-no because they did not like their father's to begin with, particularly those whose dads were estranged, drunkards and always absent in virtually all their lives. To such women, the ex's last name is a better prospect, particularly if the divorce was not rancorous. The ex's last name can also be unique, exotic and more fun.
Your last name as the first name
At times, even if you want to change the last name circumstances might force you to stick with it. Apart from keeping the last name for the sake of the kids, business or how exotic and fun it sounds, there are those who might have another reason. For example, a woman in the military may find it easier to stick to their last name because the first name is the last name. You are known by your last name and it's your identity. Dropping it might mean changing your life completely yet unless you leave the military and the country, your colleagues in the military may always refer to you by your last name.
No matter the reason you have for sticking with your ex's last name, it is your right under the law. There are also places where you have to indicate in a divorce decree whether you are keeping the married name or not.
I have a question. I divorced my ex but never changed my last name after the divorce because of the inconvenience of change all my documents and I was using his last name for more than 10?years. But now I’m getting married next year and I don’t know what last name I have to use for the ceremony and my new marriage certificate. My current last name ( my ex last name) or my last name previous married.
Please help!!!
Hi Sulma. When you fill out your marriage application, put down your current legal name. If there's a spot available to specify a new name post-marriage, put your new preferred name.
I have been married two times I've never carried second hubby name I've always carried. My firs husband name everything is in his last name .I called as the other day and they have me under my second name. How do I get it back to the name I've used since I've been 16? Can I go to the small court house in my town and do it? What do I need top get this done ?
Hi Louise. If you're talking about changing your name through court, which court you file in varies by state. Which state are you a resident of?
Hi! I had a divorce last 2015 and requested for my name to change it back to my maiden name. But since then, I have not change or still use my married name in my IDs, account. I am now applying for citizenship and would like to know if my legal name would be of that in the divorce decree or what i am still using. thank you!
What you're still using, considering you never legally switched back to your maiden name.
very sexist slant to this article
First of all, thank you for keeping up with this conversation! I will be going through the divorce process soon. I do not want my ex last name or my maiden name. Is it ok to use another? It is my step fathers but he never legally adopted me.
You can request it from the judge, but it's unlikely. Name change via divorce is meant to restore a former name. You'll likely be told to separately petition the proper court for a new name.
I got divorced a couple of years ago and the decree says my name would go back to previous legal name. My passport is still in my ex’s last name. I also have global entry with ex’s last name. It is now time to renew my passport. Can i renew and keep under my ex’s last name to prevent hassle of changing global entry too? I rather not change the name back.
Yes, you can maintain the status quo.
Just continue the question. So when you renew passport you don't need to show marriage cert anymore? So it means woman who divorce can keep pretending still have a husband (as last name didn't change)? As I know you just change your residence to be independent (don't have husband) and you just free have passport with your own name.
Correct.
It's not pretending, as it remains their legal name until changed.
Marital status is irrelevant when it comes to maintaining your passport.
My situation is totally different, I am filing for divorce now but, during my marriage, I had changed my First Name. Do they allow me to keep my new First name and Maiden last name? Or I have to change to the name I had before I was married?
Name change during divorce wouldn't affect your first name. You would be able to keep it unchanged. You can request your last name be returned to your maiden name or any prior legal surname.
My fiance asked for his name back as part of the divorce and his wife agreed and signed it on the divorce papers. She is now refusing to change her name. What can be done about this?
Nothing really. Your fiance's ex-wife can't be compelled to change her name.
Law very strange that ex husband have no right to pull his name from his ex wife. Might could change in the future. It seems if guy marry many times and divorce and they all refused to change name. Seems that guy have a lot of wives. Like all of them are Mrs…😂 so silly…
Might could be for exchange company if first Mrs… absent could change with other ex wife… as for proof id they have same name🤣🤣🤣
It's the ex-wife's legal name as much as his.
Unlikely.
Ex-wives. And it's no guarantee that all of them would have taken their spouse's name at the time.
I'm not sure what you're saying here.
My fiance kept her ex husbands last name. We are applying for a marriage license. Is she required to use her current legal name with her ex husbands last name? Or can she use her maiden name on the marriage license?
When the application asks for her name, it's referring to her current legal name. Some applications may ask for any prior name, but that would be a separate field.
I asked the courts to change my name after my divorce and now I want to keep it because of my kids. Can I do that? Do I have to go back to court to change my statement?
Yes. Just do nothing and nothing changes.
No, you don't have to go back to court. You're not obligated to change your name just because you obtained a court order to do so. It simply gave you the option to. It's nonbinding.
Hello, I've been divorced over ten years and have kept the married name because of children and a professional license. Now my children are (mostly) grown. One is married and the other is in college. And I'm about to get another professional license in another field, which I believe will be permanent.
I'm unsure of whether to change my name because to my maiden name for the new license, it leave it as is and be stuck with the ex's last name for my child's sake for 2-3 more years.
Or can I leave the ex's name on the old license, do, etc. and put my maiden name on the new (work-related) license?
This is more of a moral dilemma than anything. Please help!
First, you have to decide if you're going to formally change your name. It appears that your legal name is not your maiden name. You wouldn't be able to update your license until you decide what to do here.
If you do decide to change, whatever entity issues your professional license may want to be notified. Depending on your profession, this may be mandatory or at least highly recommended. Whether they require your license be reissued in your new name varies.
I am getting a Divorce after 15 years of marriage to my 2nd husband But i am engaged and getting married in a few months.I asked the judge 4 me 2 go back 2 my maden name but my 13 year old little girl dont want me 2.so i dont half 2 change my license and ssi several times ( when she grants me my Divorce next month can i Change my name 2 my soon 2 be husbands last name so i dont half 2 do the changes several times?He wants me 2 have his last name and not my soon 2 be X husbands when we get married.
Asking that the judge includes this keeps your options open. You don't have to change it for real.
No, only a prior last name. When you get married again, your marriage certificate is what you'll use to change your name, not your divorce decree.
Hi, I divorced my exhubby in 1995 in Nevada, but in January 2018, I received a certified letter stating that he’s divorcing me from NYC now.
I’ve since called his attorney telling him this is a mistake, but unfortunately I don’t have the divorce decree anymore nor can it be found in the county clerks office.
So here we are today where I’ve received the divorce papers stating that I can have my maiden name restored, which is what I want now since our daughter is an adult.
Even thou I know I was divorced before, can I use today’s divorce decree to get my mainden name back without having to pay to have it changed now?
TIA!
County clerk? Have you tried the court clerk?
Probably. If whichever institution your changing your name with isn't aware of your divorce history, your most recent divorce decree may be taken at face value.
I was legally divorced in the state of Texas last year. I never did change my name back to my maiden name and prefer not too, however I am curious to find out if there is a way to change my last name to something completely different.
It would have to be by court petition.
My bf has been "seperated" not legally for 15 yr now about a month ago he decided to go on with divorce process. His ex dicided to keep the last name out of spite and don't want another woman to have the name there children are grown with kids of there own. In the state of IN can she be entitled to anything or is the name useless?
That is her prerogative. She's not obligated or required to change it.
I have a question, say the judge said I could go back to my maiden name & I signed to get it changed but now I want to keep his last name but the judge already signed for me to change it back to my maiden name. Do I have to or can I just keep his last name ??
You don't have to commit to the name change. The judge authorizing the change simply gives you the option to do so.
Hi there: I was contemplating changing my last night back after divorce. However i'm trying to think differently about it. For instance. My name will tell a story right, and i'm still a winner right? Yes and Yes again.
Furthermore, my 2 very young children already know we're not with their father anymore, so why confuse and add insult to injury. And this is what took the cake for me, so to speak. There;s a whisper of "your going backwards further into your past, back skipping back "the middle" to your birth name" So I will not be embarrassed, angry, bitter or ashamed, nor will I place over-blaming. Besides… the reality of the matter was! "it took 2 to tangle". *But don't stop dancing; just learn new moves and keep dancing.*
To sum all that up: Continue on; in forward motion progressions. While being very sure to console and motivate your children so they will make better perception choices; than you earlier self! Amen and Good Day.
Thanks for sharing your perspective LadyRo.
I just received my divorce decree and decided to take my surname back. I already made the changes after receiving the court order. Will I still qualify to receive my X spouse social security after a 40 years of marriage?
Yes, changing your name doesn't affect your social security benefits.
I divorced in 2010 and went back to my maiden name. I recently found out that the man whose last name I have (my maiden name) is not my father! Can I go back to my ex husbands name, if he says it's ok and if so how do I go about reversing my name change?
Hi Deborah. You'd have to petition the court to reverse a name change.
My question is from the ex-husband perspective. My ex-wife kept my last name at our divorce, but then quickly remarried and changed to her new husband's last name. She is now getting divorced again, but is going back to my last name, and not her maiden name. Is there any way that this can be prevented?
No, there is none.
Hello, I've been divorced for 8 years, but I'm forced to live with my ex, because of home ownership. I have no children. I did notxask for alimony. He is abusive. I kept his last.name, after the divorce. Now, the relationship has deteriorated so badly, I don't want it any longer. Nor do I want my maiden name, as they are not very nice people and I've been judged in the past…..based on that. Can I just drop my current married last name? And go by my first and middle name? What would the procedure involve? Thank you.
If you're just dropping your married name informally, then there's nothing to do. Otherwise, you'd have to petition the court for a name change.
I was divorced almost 20 years ago. I never took completely took his last name. So I never changed from my maiden name. I have a disabled son with my ex, for his medical and legal purposes, can I use his last name still? Or do I need to stick to my maiden name. I have been married and divorced again. I am still using my maiden name. It would make it easier to use his name when I need to book his appointments, or any other legal stuff. Etc.
Your maiden name would be appropriate, because your ex's is not your legal name.
I was married for 25 years and have been divorced for over 20 years but kept my married name. I am now getting remarried. I would like to use my new husband's last name socially, etc but because of numerous documents, properties, trusts and children with my ex-husband's last name, I would prefer not to have to change all those documents legally. How do I complete the part that asks about new last name?Can I just put my new husband's last name on the application but not change it on any other documents?
Yes, you can put your new husband's last name, even if you don't plan to change it on any documents.
My husband filed a petition for divorce without a lawyer and within the order he states that my name would be changed to my maiden name. He worded it strangely. It says "Father agrees to change name to maiden name Xxxx Xxxxx". We have no children and I'm a woman. I think it's a typo. I do not want to change my name. Big hassle for me. I agree with everything else in the petition. Do I have to file a response to argue just the name change issue? If I just ignor it and keep using my married name will I get in trouble? What might be the repercussions if I don't file a response?
Hi Dena. It doesn't hurt to file a response. It's not binding either way.
I was divorced in 2001. i remarried in 2006. Both Marriages were in NJ. Why is my EX Wifes name on my new marriage certificate. How do I remove it.
That's how the New Jersey certificate of marriage is universally designed. The ex-spouse's name is shown at the bottom of the marriage certificate. It's a public, historical record.
If you're adamant about having it removed, you can try to seek relief through a judge, but it's unlikely to be granted.
Hello, I’ve read through most of these comments but wanted to clarify; after getting a divorce is there a time-limit on changing back to your maiden name? Do you need to do it within a certain amount of time, or can you do it anytime after the divorce?
For reference, I’ve been divorced for 15 years and I did not contest my divorce; I live in NC and am single, I have no children. I have wanted to change my last name for some time but really don’t care for my maiden name either. However, if I could more easily change back to my maiden name rather than go through the hassle of petitioning the court for a “new” name then maybe I would. I hope that makes sense, thanks so much for your advice!
No.
It doesn't matter how long you take.
That's a valid option.
My husband’s ex wife remarried in another state, then divorced husband number two for husband number three and now is separated from husband number three and moved back here. She’s had her maiden name and all three husbands’ names also.
Her divorce from husband number three isn’t even in the works. She claims she needs the divorce decree from her first marriage to get a new drivers license in this state now. Why? I know when you move from state to state, you have to get a new license but why does she need a divorce decree from 25 years ago for a license?
It could simply be because she needs an identity document and any court document is considered valid.
Or perhaps her first divorce decree contained a provision restoring her maiden name and now she wants to return to it.
Or maybe she wants to go back to your husband's surname and will try to use the divorce decree as the avenue to get there.
Florida requires proof of all previous identities regardless of age
My ex husband filed a motion to demand i give up his last name. Can i be forced to give it up?
Can i be legally forced to give up my ex last name? He did not care at the time of the divorce but his girlfriend does
Can someone help with some clarity on this idea?
My girlfriend and mother of our child has a last name from her ex whom was very abusive, etc.
I thought it would be respectful to her father for her to go back to the maiden name after proposal so marriage is from her family name and my family name.
She thinks this would be it of work to do. I just do not want to hear that nasty guys last name called out at our wedding.
Is this a ridiculous idea? And is the name changing too much work?
No, it's not ridiculous at all. She'll first have to determine what name combinations are allowed after marriage. She may or may be able to combine your last name with her maiden name.
If the name change combination is allowed, the process is the same as any other marriage-based name changed.
Hi Judy. Your husband can file or request anything, but he can't force you to change your name.
Hi can i ask you a quation I was married and I divorce i haven't change the name now I want to get married again can I marry my new husband with previous husbands name?
Yes, of course.
Hello, difficult question here. Um, I am filing for divorce after 16+ years of marriage, we have been separated for 8 yrs.
The issue is this we found out at year 3 that my husbands last name was not his legal last name. (so all papers were filed on a false and not legal last name) So our 1st child and myself have a hyphenated last name (our daughter was born before we were married so we hyphenated her name and I followed suit when we were married) However we did not know, nor did he that his last name was not his.
I found out when filing to get all of our birth certificates. So 2 questions.
1. Were we ever even legally married?
2. He is now asking me to make it is legal last name in a name change in the divorce.
Can the husband do a name change in the divorce papers?
It is just so confusing and to top it off we have a son, now 13 who has just his dads false last name. (no hyphen his dad refused to hyphen his SONS last name).
I will be obtaining my maiden name and trying to figure out how to change my 20 year old daughters name to my maiden name as well.
Yes.
Yes, if the judge allows it. Within limits.
She'll have to petition the court. You couldn't do it on her behalf.
Hi,
I live in India, I divorced my husband 15 years back.but now I got remarried. I have son from my ex. We use his surname.. Now after remarriage. My son doesn't want to change his surname.. Now when it comes to property matters ..how do we go about it.
Can you please clarify what you're trying to resolve? Are you looking to update names in property records? Yours? Your son's?
How about if in the divorce it says we are going to keep their last name but we decide at a later time that we would like to revert to our maiden name? That's where I currently am with my thought process.
You'll either need to get the court to amend your divorce decree or get a new court ordered name change.
Hi, I was married for 16 years and been divorced for 14 years, and recently decided to change back to my maiden name. I changed my license, ssn, and at work. but after changing my name I feel I lost my identity after 30 years of having my ex-husband's name. I like his name better than mine. I didn't think it was going to bother me emotionally but it has. I loved that man with all my heart but things didn't work out. Can I change my mind and decide to keep my married name again or is it a done deal now. I own a home, which include a mortgage, deed, taxes registered at town hall, and citizenship papers, passport and more that I haven't change. What can I do. I live in NY.
It's a done deal using your divorce decree. At this point, you'll have to get a court to approve your name change.
This is a good time for you to move on once and for all after 14 years this is the last thing your were hanging on to get over it and move on!
If my divorce decree states that I am free to use my maiden name, does that mean I can just change it and all my personal documents or do I still have to file a name change? Is my divorce decree enough proof for the DMV, bank, S.S.?
Yes, that's what it means. No need to file a separate petition.
It's plenty.
Can my sister who already got divorced use her old surname in renewing her passport
Hi Gina. If your sister's passport is already in her old name, she can renew it in her old name. If it's in her married name, she can renew it in her old name as long as her divorce decree restored her old name.
After our divorce my x changed her name. Not back to her original maiden name but used her middle name as her last name now on the court document. She still and wants to Use my last name in other documents for our kids at school and personally. Is this legal? What can I do.
Yes.
Nothing really.
Ok. How about this: My Daughter has asked to have the ability to change her name when she first divorced. The judge ordered this and used the term “shall” be restored to her maiden name. That was in 2105 and she chose not to do so aftercare that, mainly because of kids. He ex recently filed a contempt charge for her not changing her name. The judge held her in contempt for not making the change! Ordered it done in 30 days.
This is in WV. Is this legal or did judge overstep here? Thanks
She'll have to contact an attorney. This story seems like it's missing a puzzle piece.
Same thing happened with my husbands ex. The way his lawyer worded it in the divorce decree was that after the judge signed she legally went back to maiden name and it was then her responsibility to change it in SSC & ID. But if she legally signed any forms she could not use his last name, even if she hadn't updated her SSC or ID.
Hi,
I was divorced in California in 1986 and the divorce decree has the box checked for "former name is restored to:" and shows my maiden name.
I never went through the trouble of changing back and kept my husbands name until I remarried in 2000. Now I live in Minnesota and am applying for a Enhanced Driver License and they will not give it to me because I cannot provide evidence that I changed my name back to my maiden name between my divorce and my new marriage. They are forcing me to go back and try to amend my current marriage certificate to show my maiden name and not my former married name.
This is not a simple thing to do.
Am I legally required to change it back because the box is checked on the divorce decree? ( I have seen reading through the posts here that I do not have to change back).
Is there a statute or specific law code that says I do not have to change it back that I can show them? if not what should I do?
Thanks for any help.
No.
You don't have to change it back, but they're looking for a document that shows your maiden name has been restored.
Have you tried just using your divorce decree to restore your maiden name? First, update your social security card. Then update your driver's license.
The problem is I have been remarried since July of 2000 and now my name is my Husbands last name. They want to see a document showing I went back to my maiden name between my divorce and my new marriage but I did not, I kept my former husbands name the whole time.
The want to see my maiden name on my current marriage certificate Since the box on my divorce decree is checked for restoring former name they are saying I had to go back. It's entirely ridiculous.
To be clear, your new surname matches your new husband's surname? You're trying to go from OldMarriedSurname to NewMarriedSurname? Or are you trying to restore your maiden name on your driver's license?
Can they document this guideline in writing? Or point to a statute?
That is correct. I went from Old Married name to new married name. I never went back to my maiden name. They are saying I had to go back since it is marked on the divorce decree "former name is restored to".
I gave them birth cert, first marriage cert, divorce decree, new marriage cert (which has my maiden name on it). This is not good enough for them, they are saying I need to have my name on my new marriage cert to be my maiden name, not my former husbands.
I have gotten a US passport but they will not give me this new Real ID. Also I have contacted the county in California where my current marriage license was issued and asked them to amend it to have my maiden name and they said No way!! It's just crazy.
I was hoping there was a guideline or statute I could show them that says I do not have to change back to my maiden name after a divorce.
They're suggesting a remedy that's not possible. California doesn't allow such changes to recorded marriage records.
That would be their response to any similar request. Short of clerical errors, amendments are not allowed.
California's page on amending vital records, specifically amending a marriage record, explains that they'll only accept spelling errors, adding missing information, or making a change under the direction of a court order.
But can they provide you the statute, guideline, or rule instead of the other way around? Do they understand that their suggested remedy is not possible in California? The problem you're facing is the split between federal and state. They operate on shared and different rules.
Ultimately you may have to obtain a court order. Another thing to consider is asking the court that issued your divorce decree to remove the restoration order.
So my situation is awkward. I'm currently going through a divorce, we have been fighting custody for almost 2 years. He's moved on with his life and I have as well.
I am engaged but really just don't know if I want to be married again. Can I have my last name changed to one that is different than my maiden or married name?
Ex. To my fiancee last name, so technically I can keep my married last name and don't have to change documents but can use my fiancee name without actually getting married?
Hi Cheryl. If you want to legally change your name outside of marriage, you'll have to go to court. If you want it done off the books, just use your preferred name informally and socially.
Awesome!! Thanks soo much!!
If I decided to change my last name back to my maiden name after 10 yrs can I still do it and yes my divorce decree stated I could right after I got a divorce
Hi Melinda. Yes, you can still change your name after divorce, even 10 years later.
My husband’s ex kept my husbands name even after a bitter and nasty divorce, she said to him recently when asked it’s because it sounds more “posh” than hers and also she didn’t want to change her email address, that was her reasoning.
But the worse is when she said to my husband and some mutual friends after we got married last year that she will always be the real “ Mrs” because she was first.
Every case is different but in my personal opinion in this specific case I’d absolutely change back out of self respect. I can’t imagine presenting myself to society with a name that associates me to someone I dislike so much, nooo way.
Most people would agree with me unless of course, you are “ someone’s bitter ex “, like some women that left some comments here you can feel the anger through the words, to those women, please love yourself and have some self respect, no surname or men should come first before your own dignity, move on with your lives and let the next “ mrs” live in peace and with dignity. Love is all that matters.
I read no comments here from women showing the anger you project. Just woman trying to establish their legal rights.
You just sound insecure. Probably it is the “real” Mrs remark your mutual “friends” so kindly repeated to you. Note: she never said it to you, so legally, heresay.
She has every right to use his last name. There is no law, societal more or even your opinion that can force her to do otherwise.
She will always be his first wife. You are the second. Simply a fact. As to dignity, pot kettle?
My wife and I are both on our 2nd marriage and we have grown kids. She dropped her ex husbands name because we made a commitment to each other to live as one. We look forward, not behind us.
If she kept her ex’s last name, well she should of stayed married to him then. We made a 100% commitment to each other and that’s part of it. I guess it’s a token of that commitment we each made to one another. We don’t judge if you chose not to however. Good luck to all
i am legally divorced 12 yrs backbut i kept my married name till date just because i have all my documents in that name and also because of my son who want to retain his name .now i am denied passport in my married name.please guide ,if i change it to my maiden name i will have to change all my documents which will create a lot of complications.
U.S. passport? Reason for denial?
No, it shouldn't be a problem as long as the method and document you use is valid. For instance, if you have a divorce decree that specifies your maiden name be restored, you should be fine.
I am getting a divorce and want to return to the proper spelling of my maiden name. My father's lastname was misspelled on his birth certificate. I want my name to match the rest of the family's. Is this something that can be done in divorce or do I have to go to court twice for name change? I am in Florida, USA. THX
You can do this through divorce as long as the judge approves.
My court date for final decree will be coming up in a couple of months.
I’m seriously considering taking back my maiden name.
His whole family is/was rotten with one exception and I’d prefer no more attachment. I love my side of the family so no regrets there.
I have a degree obtained while married and the college is defunct so I can’t change it. Also a special needs adult child. I haven’t discussed it with them yet as it will get back to their dad. Can’t always make the best decisions in best interest. Have an adult daughter who married and kept her maiden name.
I’ve lots of investments, credit cards, deed to the house and all the other government issued stuff I’d have to change but as long as I have to change address on everything anyway….
Should my kid’s opinions count? Thoughts in general?
Whether or not you'll change, you can still request the maiden name restoration so that the option remains open to you.
Since you have to update your address anyway, changing your name at the same time would kill two birds with one stone.
Even if your divorce decree restores your maiden name doesn't mean you have to follow through immediately or at all. You could decide to change several years down the line.
You could also consider legally changing your name on your identity documents, but permitting your children or whoever else to continue addressing you by your married name informally.
These are all excellent thoughts! I thought I’d have a small time frame to change. I’ll have to check on things such as guardianship and POA papers regarding this so I’ll have time.
Thanks so much!! I feel less alone.
Question: If a man and a woman has been separated since 2003,but they still haven’t handed in their completed divorce papers,according to Illinois law does she keep his name post divorce?
Showing a name change on the divorce decree doesn't automatically result in a name change. Her name doesn't change until she notifies various government agencies of the change.
Can a man have right to ask the court or petition to get his last name back from his ex?
Hi Jill. The court can't compel someone to change their name.
This may be an unusual request. I have been remarried for 22 years now, but it has always bothered me that I have a different last name than my sons and now grandchildren. I regret not keeping my previous last name. Is there any way to go back to my previous last name and add it to my present last name…either hyphenated or not?
Hi Becky. If the only document you had to deal with was your social security card, you could initiate a name correction by reverting to your prior name within the same marriage using your marriage certificate.
The problem is when you've updated other identity documents (e.g., driver's license, passport, insurance) where it's not feasible to switch back. In such circumstances, you'll have to obtain a court-ordered name change.
Hi Becky. Me and my ex-husband were USA permanent residents, but got our divorce finished in our country of origin in 2009. On divorce decree it specifically says that my last name WAS changed to maiden name. I never followed in USA with my last name change, because of complicated procedure and I thought it was optional. I got remarried with my current husband and changed to his last name directly. Now I worry that my current marriage is not valid, because I never followed with decree order. I also need to apply for naturalization and not sure if it may be a problem as well. Thanks.
Your current marriage is valid. The name restoration in your decree was optional and nonbinding.
It won't be. Gaps in name changes (or non-name changes) can be explained between the various name change events that occurred in your life by showing the name change documents (e.g., marriage certificate, divorce decree). These documents link your name transitions, even if you never formally went through with a name change for that particular occurrence.
I am a widow. My husband died in a car accident. I am recently remarried. If for some reason we get divorced can I go back to my first husband name, or would i have to go back to my maiden name?
You could return to either name as long you as make the judge aware of your request during the divorce proceedings. Your preferred name would be shown on your divorce decree.
I think there are nefarious reasons women keep their husbands name after a nasty divorce.. such as, hoping they’ll still be beneficiary, or that they’ll be able to collect more social security income if the ex passes away.
I’ve seen a circumstance, where a man assumed divorce ended her beneficiary status, but it didn’t.
And I’ve seen a divorce where the husband passed away, and after 30 years of divorce, was still able to collect his social security benefits…
So I really don’t want to hear this BS about women keeping their husbands last name, unless children are involved (that’s another matter entirely)
Women can be vindictive, obsessed, or narcissistic in these matters, and that shouldn’t be overlooked.
Bitter much? Your comment was unnecessary and sounds like you have some issues to work out.
I just got divorced and my divorce certificate contains an order to restore my maiden name, if I change my mind and wish to keep my married name would I have to do anything?
You don't have to do anything. Just ignore your divorce decree.
Hi, I would like to know if I decide to keep my married name after divorce will it change or ruin anything for me in the future regarding social security when I retire?
Hi Kate. Keeping your married name won't affect your retirement benefits.
Hi! I got married in 2017. I am going to divorce him soon just doing research. I hyphenated my last name in the marriage paperwork. Example: my name is Paris Anderson and his last name is Hawkins. So I filled out the marriage papers as Paris Anderson Hawkins. I never ever changed my drivers licenses, social, credit cards, and whatever else is out there. Never ever. Do I need to change my last name back or can I simply be ok with using My maiden name Anderson?? Or should I change it legally? Thanks:-)
What I meant to say is, would it be a problem in the future if I kept things the way it is with hyphenating my name to his last name “Hawkins”, because I never changed my s.s., dl, credit cards ect to his name. Will his last name show up on anything in the future? We Don’t have kids, no property, no assets, no joint nothing, we are doing a summary dissolution uncontested divorce. Trying to figure out if I should do a name change. Thanks again!:-)
If it's only hyphenated in your marriage certificate, it doesn't matter. Hyphenating your name was always a choice. It was never compulsary.
Public marriage records.
There's nothing to change. You can't go from maiden name to maiden name.
Hi Paris. Since you've never effectively changed your name on any ID, your name was never legally changed. Requesting a name change in your divorce documents 1) wouldn't make a practical difference and 2) may not be accepted by the judge since your current legal name is your maiden name.
Ok gotcha, I understand! Thank you sooo much for the response!
I divorced over 30 years ago and maintained my husbands name due to word and career. No kids. I remarried 15 years ago and used my maiden name as my middle name and my new husbands last name. Used divorce papers, birth certificate, and new marriage license to update ss and dL. Is this correct?
Hi Linda. I'm not sure what you're asking. Are you looking to confirm if your name change 15 years ago was done correctly?
Hello,
I am getting married soon and i still Have my ex husbands last name. I did not change it through SS, DMV etc. All my legal documents still state my ex husband's last name.
I applied for my marriage license in the state of Hawaii where we plan to marry with a request to change my current last name (ex husbands) to my new last name (new husband).
In my divorce paperwork when it was finalized, I indicated there that I wished to restore back to my maiden name, which I never did for the sake of my children. Will this be a problem? Did I have to restore back to my maiden name prior to changing to my new last name??
No, changing your name after divorce was a nonbinding request.
You don't have to restore your maiden name.
If you get divorced and in the divorce decree, it says you will now be known as “xyz” (your maiden name); do you actually have to go through all the hassle of changing your name. Can you choose to just keep the name you have. I initially wanted to change my name, but after the fact, I realized what a pain it was going to be.
No, it's optional.
I am divorcing my husband after 17 years. He is 49 years old. If I change my name and file for half of his social security later down the road after he retires, will it matter if I changed my name back to my birth name or will it complicate things?
Your name change won't affect benefits. The SSA maintains a history of name changes for each number holder.
Hi,
Q – I'm divorced and still have my Ex wife's name on my current passport (Foreign passport). I'm planning to remarry to my GF who is a US citizen, I've divorced degree. Is it mandetory to remove Ex Wife's name from passport before I go for remarrying to my GF and apply for marriage certificate in US? Please suggest!
Hi Neel. Which country is your passport from?
India
Hi Neel. It's not required.
Thanks Valera, Means I can remove Ex's name and add future wife's name through one application only.
Hi my mam divorced my dad 30 years ago, she remarried and has been separated from him for 10 years. She decided to go back to my dad's name after this. I do not like that she has done this
Quick question. When I married my now ex-wife. I took her last name in the marriage. We have since divorced. We have one child together. I kept her name after divorce because of the child. Would it be legal if I were remarry for my new wife to take my current last name?
Yes, it would be valid.
Hello I’ve been divorced 7yrs done in Georgia, now I live in Arizona. I wish to return to my maiden name. GA court saying I need to file in AZ, AZ saying I need to file in GA. Where do I file?
Hi Carla. Your divorce decree (wherever it was finalized) is what you'll use to change your name, but it must include an order that restores your preferred name choice.
My husband filed for divorce but didn't check the restore to former name box. I didn't want to file a response as I'm not contesting the year marriage with nothing to divide. Do I have to file just to check that box to restore my former name?
Hi Carolyn. You can contact the court to update the filing. You'll want that order inserted to restore your name.
Hi, my divorce finalized 4 years ago and it stated that I can go back to my maiden name (I have my ex-last name). I have not changed any documents (US passport, DL, credit card etc.) to my maiden name as of yet because I have small kids and want to keep their last name as well. I recently got married in a foreign country (using my maiden name) would that be a problem? What is my legal name now?
Thanks in advance!
Hi Patricia. Your legal name is still your prior married name.
Hi and thanks for your reply.
Does that mean that my current marriage is not legal?
Thanks!
Hi Patricia. No worries. Your marriage is legal and valid.
It was my second marriage. I have multiple reasons for keeping married name. 1) Business contacts and businesses in married name. 2) I know what a pain it is to change your name – especially with so many accounts now days. 3) My family name doesn't match the rest of my name – my parents were hippies and gave me an exotic first and middle name to go with a boring English four letter last name. 4) It aggravates my ex that I kept it and can't stand that there is something he can't control. He took way more from me, it's the only thing I kept from the marriage. Lol.
My husbands ex wife is remarried, but I suspect will be getting divorced again soon. Is there any chance she could possibly change her name back to my husband’s last name without his consent?
Yes, it's possible. Your husband's consent isn't required. The court wouldn't even notify him.
I am remarried but I want to keep my ex- husband’s last night, am I able to do so? I live In Texas .
Yes, you can.
Why do you want to keep ex husband last name? So you can get his social security benefits?
I have a question… I am divorced and kept my ex wives last name. She was fine with it.. I am getting remarried and my finance wants to take my last name (still legally my ex's last name) My ex was fine with this until 1 week ago we are a week out from our wedding. Our marriage licence already has my current last name as the name my fiancee will be taking. Now my ex says I can not use the last name…. Legally is there anything she can do?
No. Nothing at all.
I was divorced in 2001. My son was then a year old, and I thought it would be easier to retain my married name. My son will soon be 21, and I would like to return to my maiden name.
However, I believe resuming my maiden name will now be a problem; my divorce decree states I can return to my maiden name, but it is written incorrectly. Example: Mary Ann Williams Jones. The issue is that my maiden name was Mary Ann Williams. Jones is the married name, yet it’s written in the decree as part of the maiden name. Will there be a problem when I ask the court to restore my maiden name? Will I have to go through a lengthier process to change my name? I have moved to a different city and county in the same state.
Thank you.
It's possible that the court will allow for a correction. You have nothing to lose by asking.
Let's be optimistic and say you won't need that. Worst case scenario, you'll have to obtain a court order. Cross that bridge when you get there.
Hi,
I’m about to get divorced (in Pennsylvania) and I was thinking of taking my maiden name back, my only dilemma is that my green card and passport don’t expire until 2022, could I wait until then to change the name on both when getting them renewed or would I have to do it right away, and then again in 2022 (at least for the green card, which would be very costly having to do it twice)
Hi Janine. You can wait to change your name until you're ready.
Okay, I have a hypothetical.
Let's say a gentleman marries into a prestigious family, for example, Kennedy. He changes his last name to Kennedy.
Then, he and the other Kennedy splits, but the gentleman keeps the last name.
If he remarries, can that woman become a Kennedy herself?
Yes, of course. And to extend it further, if that last couple splits, she's still a Kennedy.
Hi, I’m planing to marry my fiancé soon but I just got divorced- do I need to change all my ids and passport before getting married again or can I keep my ex husband last name ( if I don’t decide to get my soon to be husband last name?)
Hi Estefania. You don't have to undergo an intermediary divorce name change. It's fine to maintain your current last name.
I got divorced in the state of TN. In the divorce document which he filed it says “Wife shall be restored to her maiden name”. Does that mean that I have to go back to my maiden name, because I don’t really want to bc it’s a hassle and it’s says “the defendants maiden name be restored to her”. I just want to make sure I don’t have to and that my ex-husband or the courts could not come after me.
Nope, it's optional.
He can't. Neither can the courts. Nothing to be concerned about.
I have a ?… When I went and signed my divorce papers I want my maiden name back and the lawyer said OK, well on the way back home I thought about it and want to keep my married last name now, but I got my final divorce decree today and it has me going back to my maiden name. No I want to my last name to stay my ex's last name for the simply fact I don't want to have to go thru changing all my documents. I even called the lawyer and told them I wanted to keep my married name, so that's their F up, so what do I do I want to keep my married last name.
Nothing. The name restoration order in your divorce decree is nonbinding. It gives you the option to revert, but you needn't go through with it. Do nothing and your married name will remain your legal name.
I am on a low income. My ex husband got really marry then he die. So I want my maiden name.
Hi Diane. Did you marriage end n divorce or the death of your spouse? If it's through divorce, you can use a certified copy of your divorce decree to return to your maiden name, provided it includes such an order by the judge. If it doesn't include the order, you can contact the court for an amendment. Some states have X-number of days/weeks/months post-divorce where you can request this change.
If your marriage ended due to the death of your spouse, the Social Security Administration will allow you to return to your maiden name on your social security card using a certified copy of your marriage certificate.
I changed my name back to maiden after my divorce and now I regret it. Can’t undo it. Make sure it’s really what you want.
Thank you Valera for answering the question about deciding not to change your last name after divorce is granted.
I am in the beginning stages and did not want to call my attorney and run money up on the retainer to request that I not change my name back to maiden name. It would be a hassle and I rather not explain to coworkers.
Hi Kim. Just because your divorce decree says you'll return to your maiden name doesn't mean you're legally obligated to do so. It provides the option, but is nonbinding. It's makes sense to have it and not need it, then need it and not have it.
I just petitioned my name changed to my maiden name after having been divorced for a year. I’m having the name change published and will be having my hearing in one month.
However I’m having 2nd thought about it since it entails changing a lot like my SS number, passport, life insurance, pensions, health insurance, mortgage, etc.
I live in California. Is it possible for me not to change my name on these but still go through with the name change hearing.
I assume you're asking the reverse: go through the hearing, then change nothing. If so, yes, you can go through the entire petition process—filing, publication, hearing, granted court order—then choose to not change your name on anything. Keeping the status quo intact.
If I don’t change anything after court order grants the name change can I still use that order in the future? Is there a time frame or expiration of the court order?
Yes.
It's good forever. Across state lines as well.
Just to clarify, I gather that if your name change is included in your divorce decree you are not obligated to do the name change since it is like an option in which later on if you decide to do it anyway even after several years you can still avail of the the name change or reverse to your maiden name.
Is that the same when after a divorce, you petition for a reversal to maiden name and get a court order? Will you not get penalized for not following the court order to change your name according to your petition?
And if it is ok to just keep your married name will you be able to use the court order even after a few years have past after you were granted the approval for a name change?
Correct. That's it.
Right. It's an option, not a mandate.
Correct. There's no deadline.
They're both court orders, but done in different contexts and carrying different strengths. A non-divorce court order is the most powerful name change mechanism. Allowing you to change your name to anything, not just what you held prior.
What's allowed in a divorce name change is more limited: middle and last name alterations. Any prior name you legally held at some point.
No. The court doesn't follow up on such things. Nothing in the law mandates it. They're not concerned if folks actually change their names. They're just looking to accomodate requests and get cases moving.
Yes, your court order won't expire. It'll remain good for use as if you got it yesterday.
Thank you Valera! You’ve been a great help to me!
Hello, I am in similar situation. Married twice divorced twice. First marriage was 16 years and to Father of my 3 children. Second marriage only lasted 2 years and no children.
I did not ask for name change in divorce bc for some reason I thought I would have to go back to maiden name which I didn’t want since it can also be a first name and caused a lot of confusion growing up. Plus it is a French name and no one pronounces it correctly anyway.
Is going back to my first married name an option? It is the last name of my children and was my name for 16 years. Would I have to do a name change since it was not done in divorce?
I currently use my maiden name as my middle name and would continue to do so if restored to previous married name. I have a couple of things still using my first married name like student loan.
Yes, but whether it can be done through divorce or court petition varies.
You can avoid petitioning the court if you can get the divorce court to amend your finalized divorce decree.
I got divorced over 5 years ago from a really bad relationship. I kept the last name because of the children. I am now married and have another child with my current husband.
I did not request going back to my maiden name in the original divorce but Now wish to do so. Can I do this and how? Can I just show the divorce decree and new marriage?
The Social Security Administration would allow you to return to your maiden name even though it's not noted in your divorce decree. However, state institutions such as the DMV are unlikely to accept that.
First, try and contact the court where your divorce was finalized and seek an amendment that restores your maiden name. If that fails, you may have to go to court.